What's the dumbest thing you ever did as a kid?

[indyfrisco]

threw a stick at a kid who was bullying me, it split open his ear.

Mark this as the most unsurprising thing in the thread.

[Uncle Fester]

At this point, we should have learned something. He wanted to “get me back” so my next turn he goes onto the road full speed into 4th gear. It is a gravel road and we are going about 30 mph. The mower topples with me on it. I roll on the gravel, two rocks got lodged into my elbow and were later removed by the doc. I roll into a ditch where the back of my head hits a concrete culvert.

You forgot to write how your dad beat your ass over it.

[indyfrisco]

You forgot to write how your dad beat your ass over it.

Nope, I actually didn’t get raked over the coals on that one. Dad was just glad I was wearing a helmet. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be posting here today.

[chargerfan]

Was about 12 me and a buddy of mine were sitting in his moms car just listening to the radio. Well i got this bright idea to turn the key in the ignition while he had his foot on the gas and the car was in gear. about 25 feet later we came to rest up against the wall in his garage almost smashing through their kitchen in the house. Damage wasn't too bad busted the doorframe leading to garage from kitchen and some drywall. My old man came outside and freaked. practically lifted me off the ground by my neck with both hands. Guess that's why they make cars so you have to have the clutch in before it will start now.

[Dslayer]

I declared war on the red water bugs living in the swamp at our house on June 6th-the last day of school when I was 4th grader. (Big History Buff even then) Had the swamp surrounded with thousands of army men, model navy was in the water, air force was ensconced on a berm just above the water, howitzers posted on the pipe where the swamp ran under the driveway. I must have just seen the Battle of Midway or something with lots of oil/gas burning on the water so I decided that was the way to go to war with the water bugs. My first attempt was with Linseed oil, but it didn't light so I quit fucking around and got Dad's gas can and emptied it into the water. Standing in the water, I lit a match and flipped it across the water which saved my ass because by whatever forces of self preservation dwell within when I heard that first "whomp" of fumes being lit I was up on the road-I don't know how I didn't get burned up. Hellacious fire-burned the cat tails in the swamp, fencing-neighbors called the fire department. But it was a half day and my 'rents wouldn't be home until later in the evening so I would have most of the day to make up the lie I would tell them. Or so I thought-just as the last FD guys were leaving, my dad came home early to spend the first day of summer with his 'little man,' so he got the straight poop. He just beat the living shit out of me then grounded me indefinitely.

Another real dumbass thing my brother and I did was remove the shot from shotgun shells then chase each around the house having wad fights-getting hit with one hurt like hell. Obviously, the potential for tragedy was pretty high-must have looked and sounded great to our neighbors who narced off us to my dad.

When I look back on the shit I did, I can't believe I didn't kill myself or someone else.

[ADAM]

One time tried to pull the waterhose across the lawn by doing that "whip" motion like you do with an extension cord. I failed to realize I was standing over it and took a waterhose whip to the nutz.

That was NOT some good shit.

I did the EXACT same thing!

[missjo]

When I got my first set of rollerskates at the age of 9 only losers & learners wore any sort of safety gear

Being that I was cool all of 10 years old & waay past the learner stage I used to skate in teeny weeny board shorts & a singlet top

There was a street near my place fittingly called hilliger rd & boy did it have a hill
it was so steep you had to walk up the grass covered sidewalk so you could jettison yourself down the hill on your skates, skateboard, gocart bike etc


Of course being a seasoned veteran of "the Hill" I used to launch myself from the top without any regard for personal safety till the day I got halfway down racing at high speed waistlength hair blowing in the wind & my right rear wheel came off
& I took the skidding tumble of all tumbles

Keep in mind that the road was of the rougher gravel/tar variety not just smooth tar
so I shredded my whole right side with my right hamstring & asscheek taking the brunt of the fall


needless to say I spent a few weeks sleeping on my tummy & never did "the Hill" again as I finally developed a sense of personal safety

[chowd103]

One time tried to pull the waterhose across the lawn by doing that "whip" motion like you do with an extension cord. I failed to realize I was standing over it and took a waterhose whip to the nutz.

That was NOT some good shit.

I did the EXACT same thing!

Yeah me too.

Last summer.
Good to see I haven't changed much.

My favorite story about that belongs to my father-in-law, may he rest in peace.

Years ago he did that, and he went down. As he started to get up, my brother-in-law who was about 5 at the time, saw him on all fours went running and jumped on his back and said: "Go Horsey, Go!"

[AnNeg]

When I got my first set of rollerskates at the age of 9 only losers & learners wore any sort of safety gear

Being that I was cool all of 10 years old & waay past the learner stage I used to skate in teeny weeny board shorts & a singlet top

There was a street near my place fittingly called hilliger rd & boy did it have a hill
it was so steep you had to walk up the grass covered sidewalk so you could jettison yourself down the hill on your skates, skateboard, gocart bike etc


Of course being a seasoned veteran of "the Hill" I used to launch myself from the top without any regard for personal safety till the day I got halfway down racing at high speed waistlength hair blowing in the wind & my right rear wheel came off
& I took the skidding tumble of all tumbles

Keep in mind that the road was of the rougher gravel/tar variety not just smooth tar
so I shredded my whole right side with my right hamstring & asscheek taking the brunt of the fall


needless to say I spent a few weeks sleeping on my tummy & never did "the Hill" again as I finally developed a sense of personal safety

I did something frighteningly similar two summers ago, except I was on rollerblades. I usually wear helmet, elbow pads and wrist guards when I blade but that day I hadn't been able to find my elbow pads. I went rollerblading anyways, wearing my little denim shorts and a t-shirt. I was going down the hill on Bonaccord Drive near my house and everything was going as planned but I hit an unexpected pothole and like you, shredded my right side on the road. I had a wound in my elbow that got infected and took forever to heal. I completely lacerated the back of my right thigh. I still have a marking remaining from that, a darker patch of skin that looks almost like a burn that's healed over. If I hadn't been wearing wrist guards, I would have probably messed up my right wrist as the wrist guard cracked but did not break.

[Kevnic]

Wrist rockets and marbles..........Nuff said. :x

[quacker backer]

this thread is completely crazy.

If your right index finger could hit me as often as it unnecessarily hits the submit button up in this motherfucker, we'd never need to leave the house, baby.

Sincerely,

your clit





fucking awful

I cant believe this has not gotten a few RACKS already!!!

dayum



One story I remember growing up was during one snowstorm me and a friend made a pile of snowballs and hid behind a drift waiting for cars to go by. Well as a kid you get too excited and hold the freaking snowball in your hands till the next car drives by.
Well here comes an old VW Beetle so we hide and launch our solid ice crystals right at the windshield. My shot was perfect and it just smashes the hell out of the glass.
We freak out and run away....right into my backyard.

Long story short...the dude follows us.....He is taking his wife to the hospital because her water has just broken and she is going into labor.
Needless to say I got my butt warmed up and had to pay for the repair.

[helmet]

Stupidest thing I ever did was run out in front of a car on my street to see how fast it could stop. It was a woman in a big ass white caddy.....she slams on her brakes, comes to a screeching halt, and then grabs me up and marches me in the house to tell my mom what I had done.

Busted our neighbors car window with a rock when I was really little, like 4 or 5. Jumped on the back of a car at a stop sign, trying to catch a ride across the street, when the car took off, I broke the radio antenna off. Also the standard issue black powder bombs, homemade napalm, bottle rocket fights, etc.

My folks never really wore my ass out except for one time.....I got in trouble for something and my mom gave me maybe two or three licks. I was to the age where I realized that a couple of licks wasn't going to hurt for very long, and I'd be back to screwing around soon enough. But after she was done, I turned around and told her that it didn't hurt. Then she commenced to whoopin.

[JayDuck]

hmm.

When I was about 12 or so a friend of mine went outside to skulk around the neighborhood in the middle of the night. We went down to our school and just started fucking around on the field by the baseball diamonds.

Our school was up a grassy hill from the field and maybe 50 yards away from us. So, out of boredom (or whatever) we started hucking rocks up at the school. Eventually one of us hit a window and it shattered with a huge crash echoing in the empty night.

We both took off running back towards his house and kind of hid in the bushes. We waited maybe 15 minutes and when nothing came of it we went back. We had broken the window of a classroom of our most hated teacher.

We went back down to the baseball diamond and broke the lock off of the shed. It was a poorly built shed, two or three kicks broke the hole lock through the wood. We took out bags of the chalk for the diamond, and climbed through the window we broke.

We opened the bags of chalk and just spun in circles, dusting the whole fucking room.


...to this day, nobody ever found out.

[JayDuck]

Other winners:

-Traded my older brother's Willie Mays baseball card for a skateboard.

-Tried to tightrope walk along the metal railing outside the school until my feet slipped out from under me.

-In 2nd grade a friend and I were pissing in the bushes. He finished before me and pulled up his pants, so I thought it would be funny to piss on his pants and tell everyone that he pissed himself....Nevermind, that wasn't stupid, that was funny.

[Cuda]

Wrist rockets and marbles..........Nuff said. :x

Pussy.

-sin,
Wrist rockets & Golf Balls

[Tom In VA]

Tennis ball cannon things and flaming tennis balls.

Rock fights.



But WAR Beating the older bigger kids in sandlot football.

[Kevnic]

Wrist rockets and marbles..........Nuff said. :x

Pussy.

-sin,
Wrist rockets & Golf Balls

:o

[MgoBlue-LightSpecial]

When I was 15 or 16 I was gettin my jerk on in the bathroom, and didn't realize the bathroom door wasn't locked when I was sure I locked it, and the cat pawed its way inside just as I was climaxing. I freaked out thinking it was my mom, and flailed my body in astonishment, having lost focus on my stream of jizz in which I was aiming into the bath tub. The cat did a little burnout on the tile floor, and ran back out of the bathroom, but not before it got into the line of fire, and became covered with a decent amount of my spunk. She then ran into my parents' room as it usually did as a safehaven. My mom noticed the white substance in the cats fur, and asked me if I knew what happened/what the hell it was. Having to think quickly, I told her I saw the dog throw up on the cat (this wasn't terribly unreasonable because the dog would often bathe the cat with its tongue, and it had a very weak stomach. He threw up all the time). In haste, I offered to give Sasha a bath, to which my mom seemed grateful.

To this day I think how horrible it would've looked for my parents to have discovered one of our pets covered in my man sauce. Trying to explain that one would have been a tad awkward.

[hardcrow]

Rack the hell out of this thread.... a'chive this fucker fast.....

[yt1300inHtown]

When I was 15 or 16 I was gettin my jerk on in the bathroom, and didn't realize the bathroom door wasn't locked when I was sure I locked it, and the cat pawed its way inside just as I was climaxing. I freaked out thinking it was my mom, and flailed my body in astonishment, having lost focus on my stream of jizz in which I was aiming into the bath tub. The cat did a little burnout on the tile floor, and ran back out of the bathroom, but not before it got into the line of fire, and became covered with a decent amount of my spunk. She then ran into my parents' room as it usually did as a safehaven. My mom noticed the white substance in the cats fur, and asked me if I knew what happened/what the hell it was. Having to think quickly, I told her I saw the dog throw up on the cat (this wasn't terribly unreasonable because the dog would often bathe the cat with its tongue, and it had a very weak stomach. He threw up all the time). In haste, I offered to give Sasha a bath, to which my mom seemed grateful.

How'd you explain the litter of kittens that had your eyes and smile?

[Lizard King]

Oh...here's another.

It was my senior year in high school. Growing up in a small town there wasn't much to do but party. So one night a group of us are sitting in the parking lot of a gas station that was closed at the time drunk off our ass. I headed around the back of the gas station to take a leak. Parked behind the gas station was a Borden milk truck. I took a leak and was headed back out front when I stopped and tried one of the doors on the side of the truck. It was unlocked. I tried another, it was unlocked as well as all the other doors. I reached in and downed a quart of chocolate milk(which goes great with beer might I add :roll: ). I grab another quart and walk around front with it in my hand.

"Hey everyone," I shouted, "the milk truck is unlocked."

Within 20 seconds there was a pick-up truck and several cars backed up to the truck and we're unloading milk, chocolate milk, cottage cheese and other dairy products by the fucking crate. Also helping themselves were two out of towners. These guys were actually cops in a nearby small town. Those fuckers proceed to steal the milk, go back to their podunk hellhole and call the police on us.

The cops never caught us that night, but Monday morning myself and several other football players that were involved got called into the coaches office. Pretty much everyone involved except for the out of towners got caught and we all had to pay $15 each to replace the stolen dairy.

:?

[quacker backer]

When I was 15 or 16 I was gettin my jerk on in the bathroom, and didn't realize the bathroom door wasn't locked when I was sure I locked it, and the cat pawed its way inside just as I was climaxing. I freaked out thinking it was my mom, and flailed my body in astonishment, having lost focus on my stream of jizz in which I was aiming into the bath tub. The cat did a little burnout on the tile floor, and ran back out of the bathroom, but not before it got into the line of fire, and became covered with a decent amount of my spunk. She then ran into my parents' room as it usually did as a safehaven. My mom noticed the white substance in the cats fur, and asked me if I knew what happened/what the hell it was. Having to think quickly, I told her I saw the dog throw up on the cat (this wasn't terribly unreasonable because the dog would often bathe the cat with its tongue, and it had a very weak stomach. He threw up all the time). In haste, I offered to give Sasha a bath, to which my mom seemed grateful.

How'd you explain the litter of kittens that your eyes and smile?

rack

[JayDuck]

Well shit, if we have to include sexual deviant behavior this thread will last another 100 pages.


When I was maybe 5 or 6 I used to play with this girl named Laurie. My parents and her parents were friends or something and they would drop me off for playdates sometimes.

I'm really too young to remember what exactly took place, but I do remember her parents walking in on us, in her room, with her pants off and like 3 crayons in her pussy and a couple in her asshole for good measure.

needless to say, that was my last play date with her.

[JayDuck]

Hey, I used to stick crayons everywhere back then. In my mouth, in my nose..

She had orafices that I didn't know existed and I needed to test their crayon compatability

[ADAM]

JAY DUCK you are a sick FUCK!


I messed with this girl Mary Joe Sperber when I was around 5-6...

I don't know about the crayon thing, but my little trooper was at attention when we played "Doctor"

From then on I knew I was hetero!

[David_Copperfield]

I grab another quart and walk around front with it in my hand.

"Hey everyone," I shouted, "the milk truck is unlocked."

Within 20 seconds there was a pick-up truck and several cars backed up to the truck and we're unloading milk, chocolate milk, cottage cheese and other dairy products by the fucking crate.

That is so freaking funny! That seriously brought me to tears. Almost all of these stories had me crackin' up...little dude throwing dirt in his neighbors mail drop...classic! Id' love to see the guys face when he came home and opened his door. "wtf?" :? holy crap that's funny..


When I was like nine, my older brother who was like thirteen decided he wanted to have a garage sale so he could get some extra cash...well my dad gave him a bunch of crap to sell and one of the items was an old fox trap like this:



when you hit the trigger in the middle, the two jaws on either side slam shut.

Well, we found out it was really cool to set the trap and then stand about ten feet away and toss a tennis ball at it and watch it snap shut and send the ball flying. Of course it took us about four or five tries to actually hit it.

One day I was the only one in the house and I wanted to see it slam shut but I couldn't find a ball. So I took my sock off and dropped it on the trap...nothing happened...crap, the sock wasn't heavy enough to set it off... so I reached down to pick up the sock and my finger was juuuust enough weight to SNAP that mother freaking trap on my finger! I jumped about five feet in the air and screamed like a girl. I ran outside in the back yard where my brothers were with the freaking thing dangling from my finger. Broke my finger right in half...and we were so freaking poor that the only medical treatment I got was my mom taping two popsicle sticks around my finger...thank God it healed straight. Talk about pain...

[Atomic Punk]

BB Gun fights with the single action cheap versions was something we 10 year-olds thought would be better than throwing rocks at each other from our dirt clod forts.

The idea was to make body shots and not aiming for our heads was fucking stupid. That didn't last too long as you actually do bleed when getting shot a few times.

Many birds were killed over the years.

////////////////

Remember those Estes rocket kits? I used to build and fly those damn things all of the time.

I was running low on coin as a 6th grader and once built my own rocket from scratch. It was well-made as I've built many in the past from Estes. I found a small metal pipe and got creative.

I took a "mosquito" engine and wrapped toilet paper around it to stuff the end of the pipe and glued it in there.

Next, I took some balsa wood and a cafeteria straw to make the fins and the launch guide to glue on the metal tube.

Now keep in mind, I spent a long time working on this damn thing. I took it out to the field of dry weeds and used my Estes launch kit to fire that baby up.

It was a spectacular take-off as it went up slowly like a NASA rocket. You normally don't see flames coming from those chemical engines but remember the TP. It was beautiful then physics took over.

It fell back to Earth, hit the dry weeds, and set this whole 10 acre field on ablaze. I gathered my stuff and hauled ass home. I just acted normal and nobody was alerted.

After 15 minutes I walked outside to see what was happening. That whole field was burning and I went back due to guilt and called the Fire Dept. They were there within 5 minutes and put it out.

One of them found my rocket in that field and I was impressed how quickly they found it. Rack the Fire fighters.

[bug]

Turned my neighbors ourside water faucet on full tilt when he was away on vacation in Florida. Flooded his yard and basement.

[DMike316]

There was one incident that involved me, a can of spray paint, and some dude's off-yellow siding on his house.
That deal there ended up costing my parents a nice chunk of change.

Another instance me and 2 of my hulligan friends decided to chuck mud balls at a neighbor's house, specifically in the area of their kitchen.

For about a half hour.

While they were eating dinner.

Dude ended bolting around the side of the house in a full sprint after us. All 3 of us took off in Carl Lewis fashion. My two buddies took a left turn at a creek we came to and took off up into the woods.
Running on sheer terror, I decided to jump the creek and did so in this fashion.


The mistake I made was running back to my yard, where I rounded the corner of the fence around the pool and ran directly into..... MY DAD...
who promptly stopped me.
Shortly thereafter the neighbor came around the corner of the fence and, after catching his breath, told my dad about my Brett Favre-like arm.

My Dad commenced to beating my ass right there in front of my neighbor.

Good times.

[PSUFAN]

Rack the hell out of this thread.... a'chive this fucker fast.....

no question...but we need more first.

[The Whistle Is Screaming]

I gotta check with a laywer on statute of limitations before I tell a few story's.

[Screw_Michigan]

i must admit when i was in fourth grade i thought playing with gas and fire behind the shed 30 yards from the house was fun. torched all the shit around it and took my parents 20 minutes to put it out with the hose. in second grade i got lost at disneyworld. i was waiting in line for some lame ride with my parents and i decided i wanted to ride the pirates of the caribbean ride instead. got lost for 4 hours.

in june 03 i made some poor decisions and got myself into serious legal trouble, which through the grace of god and g0d, i was able to get off my record. i have learned from those three previous mistakes.

[Screw_Michigan]

I gotta check with a laywer on statute of limitations before I tell a few story's.

very ironic you mention that, that's another addition to the "stupid" list for me. after said legal trouble, i was dumb enough to explain in excruciating detail everything that happened in said trouble on a message board (wasn't TOT) and in three emails. the prosecution intercepted my emails and printed my post, they were more than ready to use it against me if we went to trial. horrible idea which i will never think of repeating.

[Headhunter]

I posted this at TSB some time ago...


One of our more brilliant moves was to steal this dudes trash can in the middle of the night and fill it with the dog shit we had been collecting all afternoon. We pissed in it and filled it the rest of the way with water. Stirred it around with a big stick until it was a gigantic tub of liquid shit and balanced it at about a 60 degree angle against his front door. Rang the doorbell and ran and hid around the corner so we could watch. Sure enough, dude opens his front door and WHOOOSSHHHH.... a fecal tsunami erupts around his feet and into his front hall. It's really hard to run away when you're laughing at some dude with sewage riding halfway up his shin chasing you. Good times!


Another brilliant move was to toss a chunk of concrete through the front door of the local convenience store. We all bolted in and stole as much beer as we could carry. A few cartons of smokes as well. So we drove a few miles away and got shit faced on the beer. We decided to drive by the store and check out the police in action. One problem... No police. So we ran back in and stole more beer smokes and zig zags. Drove back and drank more beer. So we head to see the police... Still not there. So we took our time the third time in and stole ALL the beer. ALL the marlboros. ALL the zig zags. and cleaned up on our share of chips and candy. Never got nabber for that one.


I'll tell a few more later. I was a horrible fucking kid. Just horrible!

[bug]

I posted this at TSB some time ago...
Another brilliant move was to toss a chunk of concrete through the front door of the local convenience store. We all bolted in and stole as much beer as we could carry. A few cartons of smokes as well. So we drove a few miles away and got shit faced on the beer. We decided to drive by the store and check out the police in action. One problem... No police. So we ran back in and stole more beer smokes and zig zags. Drove back and drank more beer. So we head to see the police... Still not there. So we took our time the third time in and stole ALL the beer. ALL the marlboros. ALL the zig zags. and cleaned up on our share of chips and candy. Never got nabber for that one.


I'll tell a few more later. I was a horrible fucking kid. Just horrible!

Whoa! I did the old grab and run with a case of beer out of a convenience store and almost got hit by a car in the ensueing chase across a busy 4 lane road.

Also used to drive by the Circle K when I lived in Phoenix and wait until the 60+ year old bag was working. Then grab cartons of smokes and bolt. That wasn't as exciting as she would never give chase.

Fun all ended when my roommate got tackled down in the parking lot of a grocery store with a case of beer by the bag boy. I think he was more embarrassed by the hit the bag boy put on him than he was worried about the legal consequences.

[Dinsdale]

It is with great shame that I admit that any convienience store next to an on-ramp was fair-fucking-game for underage beer acquisition. But even then, I always had impeccable manners -- I used to thank the clerk on my way out the door.

[DMike316]

Hell, me and a buddy used to sit out in the parking lot of this one place in PA and wait for the beer truck to pull up for our beer to steal.

Dude would go into the store and check on what he needed to bring in to restock. He'd come back out and load up the hand truck (S'up referees?) and head back in, thing is, dude would just pull the sliding door down on the truck but wouldn't lock it.
As soon as he went back inside, we would spring to action. My buddy would bolt up to the truck and have two+ cases pulled out just as I'd pull up in the pickup. He'd set those fuckers in the bed and off we went.

[Headhunter]

Another great way was to have that Grocery stor buddy. You know the one who unloaded the trucks. He'd call when the bud truck pulled up. He'd toss 10 or so cases underneath the truck. We'd sit and wait until the truck left, then pull up in the loading dock and fill the trunk.

[hardcrow]

Hell, me and a buddy used to sit out in the parking lot of this one place in PA and wait for the beer truck to pull up for our beer to steal.

Dude would go into the store and check on what he needed to bring in to restock. He'd come back out and load up the hand truck (S'up referees?) and head back in, thing is, dude would just pull the sliding door down on the truck but wouldn't lock it.
As soon as he went back inside, we would spring to action. My buddy would bolt up to the truck and have two+ cases pulled out just as I'd pull up in the pickup. He'd set those fuckers in the bed and off we went.

What's the dumbest thing you ever did as a kid?

^^^This aint it...fuckin genius...!

[Headhunter]

Another great move as a kid...

My brother was "investigating" a huge hornets nest. When he got about two feet from it, I hurled a dirt clump right through the middle of it. He got his ass lit up by hornets. I got my ass lit up by Dad!