Death pool speed round

[smackaholic]

Too bad Benny punched out a few years back.

Does the RCC allow bull pen appearances?


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[Diego in Seattle]

That was a layup on an unguarded bucket.

It should be worth barely two points.

[Diego in Seattle]

So Vance visits the Pope, and the Pope dies the very next day....

[StrawMan]

Dibs on the cripple-friendly Popemobile.

[Roux]

That was a layup on an unguarded bucket.

It should be worth barely two points.

Yeah but in terms of "celebrity" that is as high as it gets, literally global, kinda like when Michael Jackson died.

I admit that over the years, some of my picks have really stretched "celebrity".

[smackaholic]

Speaking of Popemobiles, any guesses on the new one?

I’m guessing Escalade with spinners.

Could also be a Jeepney or maybe ‘64 Impala low rider.

Outside chance it’s an F-150.


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[Dr_Phibes]

'89 Mercury Grand Marquis. Any Pope would love comfort and luxury.

[Roux]

Much respect to His Holiness Pope Francis for this act of kindness.

[Sudden Sam]

I call bullshit.

Very kind of the Pope, but, based on the bullshit I was raised on in the Lutheran church, that atheist sumbitch dad went straight to hell.

Sorry, kid.

[HighPlainsGrifter]

The Vatican has announced Pope Francis is already being considered for Sainthood as two miracles have been credited to the recently deceased Holy See.

A single mother in Essex found a hundred pound note in an old pair of pants. The windfall paid her light bill which she described as "So fucken overdue if it wa a baby id be 2 stone b'now." Weeping through tears of relief she credited Francis with the miraculous find and The Vatican has agreed.

In Khmar, India, a recent convert to Catholocism shitted a stunningly beautiful three coil grinder on the street near Khdmar and 34267th. As he clenched and pushed in ecstacy, he prayed over his post-Easter Feast dump, asking God to sanctify the public sacrament. The death of Pope Francis was announced shortly after the man, identified as Andrew Bin Muhammad, wiped with his right hand an sniffed his fingers approvingly. Miraculously, 12 hours later no flies have landed on the pile of shit. A crowd of parishiners has gathered to watch and pray over the unblemished turds, collectively crediting the recently deceased Pope for allowing the offering to remain unspoiled. The Vatican has already approved the miracle and plan to display the Holy Shit at the Vatican with a collection of Soon-To-Be-Saint Francis' personal effects.

[bungle clone]

Vatican II sorta said something about atheists can gain salvation. So, Sam, the Lutheran cant doesn't apply here.

[FiatLux]

Is he going to be cremated?

[FiatLux]

Just heard it's a casket.

Who are the top 10 popes?

[bungle clone]

Just heard it's a casket.

Who are the top 10 popes?

Good question. I'll get back to this later, and keep in mind that my answer is subjective and would not necessarily match any other Catholic's list.

However, to start things off, number one would have to be the first of all, the rock of the church, St. Peter!


more later!

[Roux]

I call bullshit.

Very kind of the Pope, but, based on the bullshit I was raised on in the Lutheran church, that atheist sumbitch dad went straight to hell.

Sorry, kid.

Perhaps I should direct this to one of my brother in laws, who is a Jesuit priest. But considering the Scripture offered by our own pious Poptart:

John 11:25-26

25 Jesus said to her, I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live,
26 and everyone who lives and believes in me shall never die. Do you believe this?

What happens when the person who died never had an opportunity to "believe"? For example, when an infant dies, even before there is a chance for baptism. And also when someone has lived in a remote place, who may not have ever heard of Christianity or Jesus.

Are such people condemned to Hell for eternity? If so, that seems like an unduly harsh scheme for a purported all-loving God.

[Meat Head]

Just heard it's a casket.

Who are the top 10 popes?

In terms of Most Young Boys Violated? Seems you might know.

Oh never mind, you're into rabbi oral circumcisions I forgot.

[Meat Head]

Ok the old coot survived past friday. New bet: Over / under

March 15, Under

That tough old fukker fooled me once. I’m going with the over hear.

Fukkin’ dude is tougher to kill than Jimmy Carter.


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We both should have taken the Way Over on this one. Next time I'm in New England I'll buy the beers.

[FiatLux]

Just heard it's a casket.

Who are the top 10 popes?

Good question. I'll get back to this later, and keep in mind that my answer is subjective and would not necessarily match any other Catholic's list.

However, to start things off, number one would have to be the first of all, the rock of the church, St. Peter!


more later!

Bungle. Why was he fighting so hard to stay alive? Is he not on good terms with the old guy in the sky?

Did God want to see him fight on a ventilator for a month or he wasn't going to be allowed in?

Maybe with one of his phone calls with God he found out it's not all what it's cracked up to be up there and God told him to fight like hell.

Is he top 10 worthy?

[Softball Bat]

What happens when the person who died never had an opportunity to "believe"? For example, when an infant dies, even before there is a chance for baptism. And also when someone has lived in a remote place, who may not have ever heard of Christianity or Jesus.

Are such people condemned to Hell for eternity? If so, that seems like an unduly harsh scheme for a purported all-loving God.

Two things before I reply to your question.

1. You have heard about Jesus Christ, and yet you deny that He is your Savior. In such a case, a person is walking around with the background of hell. This is truly frightening, and you should immediately correct this.

2. I am not God. God judges righteously, imo. I can tell you my understanding. My faith.


For some perspective on this topic, you could look at Acts 17:24-31.
Notice verse 26, specifically.
Creator God determines the times and places of a person's habitation.
He is very well aware of the infant, and of the person, for example, who lives in a remote place in Africa and never has the opportunity to hear about Jesus Christ.

To reply to your question, this is my perspective...


There are two camps.
One camp (reformed theology) believes, broadly speaking, that God predestines people for salvation. They have verses and passages to support their view. Acts 13:48, Ephesians 1:5, and others. The verses plainly say that God has predestined believers.

The other camp (Armenian) believes, broadly speaking, that people have free will. They claim that if God has predestined some for salvation, He has then also predestined many others for eternal hell. And loving God would not do that. Moses plainly told the Israelites to choose life (Deuteronomy 30:19). What an odd thing to say if life and death was already predestined. And there are many other verses pointing to the reality that people are free to make a choice about believing in the things of God or not.

So which view is correct?
Is it predestination or free will?
One must be right and the other must therefore be wrong, correct?

Poptart says they are both correct.
I will briefly explain.


Predestination is looking from God's point of view.
Free will is looking from the human point of view.

As humans, we are bound within the time and space confines of this world that God has created. Our view is finite.
God is eternal. No beginning and no ending. He is not confined by the time and space that we are confined by. God's view is infinite.

If I am in the mission field and I testify to a person about Jesus Christ, the person absolutely makes a choice to accept it or not.
If a person accepts Jesus Christ, they gain eternal life. They have moved into -----> eternity. There is no beginning and no ending to the spiritual life they have. It has always been and always will be.
This being so, God has always known this soul, because it is eternal. So, we can understand that from God's point of view, the eternal view, not bound by time and space, the person was predestined for salvation in his lifetime.
It was a given that at some point, he would choose to trust in Jesus Christ and live eternally.

Acts 17:26 -- God has determined the time and place of the habitation of the infant, or the person living in remote Africa.
Eternal God knew, imo, that these souls were never going to choose to believe in the salvation God has given, so they were assigned the bodies, times, and habitations that reflect their own state.

From God's perspective, the eternal perspective, they (infant, remote African man) were not appointed for eternal life. Acts 13:48. Instead, they wanted to follow the god of this world.


Yes, I believe that if an infant dies, he goes to hell.

The original sin is frightening.

[Kluba]

I used to spend a lot of time worrying about religion, and pondering the unsolvable mysteries of our place in the universe and who thought it wise to bestow cognition upon us. I don’t do it very much any more (possibly because I don’t have as much free time or weed). I know it’s still big business, but if poptart is right (non-indoctrinated infants go to hell) then jsc is also right (unduly harsh punishment for a purportedly merciful God).

It starts to feel like God is Herr Burgermeister and the “old ways of thinking” just gradually tapered off and were dismissed as nonsense from a forgotten age.

Yo-yos are fun imo. WAR Kringle toys.

[Roux]

you deny that He is your Savior

I deny much, much more than merely that. There could have been a guy named Jesus living about that time, but like Thomas Jefferson, I deny all supernatural acts ascribed to him. Further, I deny all other supernatural things such as a talking snake, people living for hundreds of years, and the universe being created in a week. All such stuff is nothing more than fiction that happened to be written many years ago, with some of it an attempt to explain things not then understood.

That said, I will say that there is a higher power, but it is one that will one day be best described with science and not fiction.

[Diego in Seattle]

WAR Kringles.

Indeed...

[HighPlainsGrifter]

I used to spend a lot of time worrying about religion, and pondering the unsolvable mysteries of our place in the universe and who thought it wise to bestow cognition upon us. I don’t do it very much any more (possibly because I don’t have as much free time or weed). I know it’s still big business, but if poptart is right (non-indoctrinated infants go to hell) then jsc is also right (unduly harsh punishment for a purportedly merciful God).

It starts to feel like God is Herr Burgermeister and the “old ways of thinking” just gradually tapered off and were dismissed as nonsense from a forgotten age.

Yo-yos are fun imo. WAR Kringle toys.

[Python]

Looks like someone tipped over a lawn elf.

[HighPlainsGrifter]

Looks like someone tipped over a lawn elf.

It was Stanley Pikkle. At Mikey's house.

[The Seer]

Who knew Hillary knew how to drive a school bus?

Virginia Giuffre, Key Witness In Epstein Scandal, Dies by Suicide

Jeffrey Epstein victim Virginia Giuffre died on Thursday by suicide after troubling Instagram posts. Her family confirmed her death in a statement to NBC News that she had committed suicide at her farm in Western Australia.

“It is with utterly broken hearts that we announce that Virginia passed away last night at her farm in Western Australia,” her family stated. “She lost her life to suicide after being a lifelong victim of sexual abuse and sex trafficking. Virginia was a fierce warrior in the fight against sexual abuse and sex trafficking. She was the light that lifted so many survivors. In the end, the toll of abuse is so heavy that it became unbearable for Virginia to handle its weight.”

Giuffre was among the first and most outspoken voices demanding justice for Epstein’s crimes, calling for charges not just against him but also those who enabled his abuse. Many other survivors later said her bravery empowered them to come forward. She also played a key role in assisting law enforcement, offering vital evidence that helped prosecute Epstein’s close associate, Ghislaine Maxwell, and supported broader investigations by the U.S. Attorney’s Office for the Southern District of New York.

She also claimed Prince Andrew sexually abused her at age 17. In 2021, she filed a federal lawsuit against him, which he chose to settle in 2022 for an undisclosed amount. He has consistently denied having any sexual contact with her.

Most recently, she posted photos from a hospital bed on social media, revealing that doctors had given her only days to live following a severe car accident. She said her vehicle was struck by a school bus going over 60 mph, resulting in kidney failure.