Weekend Roll Call 4-5-25

[kcdave]

Hope all you cocksuckers in the yam cult enjoyed
watching the market tank, and your 401k shrink up
like your pecker in an ice bath.

m.o.w



Happy weekend, Y'all.

[Wolfman]

IN----- life is still good.

[Roux]

LSU baseball won 2 games at Oklahoma, going for the sweep today, the team is looking good. But Tennessee is looking great, not sure who will be able to keep up with them.

Wednesday afternoon, we had some excitement at the office. When I went to the restroom, this is what I saw:



The office folks were not pleased, and things got somewhat chaotic. They were wanting to call Animal Control. I realized that the snake was not venomous, so I simply caught it and released it behind the parking garage next to a creek. He wasn't happy in the box, but was happy in his new home.



So when I got home and told the story to my wife, she said "oh I forgot to tell you something. We had a really big snake here on Sunday. The yard men got all worked up over it. It was 4 or 5 feet long and really thick."

What?? Maybe just maybe that was something you should have told me before. Well what kind was it? She had no idea. So I show her this chart:



And she immediately points to the cottonmouth. Shit. But then I remember that many people confuse them with the harmless watersnakes, so I pointed to it and asked if it could have been that. "No, it was the first one, we got a real good look at it." Shit.

So my errands today will include picking up some ratshot for my .22. That snake gotta go.



Every week, one staff member at our office receives the Top Dog award.

This week, I won it for the pre-legislative Session prep work, and of course for removing the snake from the building.



Y'all have a good one and I hope you have a snake-free weekend.

[bungle clone]

wolfman still doing his part to make roll call threads

GREAT AGAIN

quality messageboarding from Roux there. bit of contravening *The Message* meant to be imparted by kcdaves latest selection of Lear-ist 1970's televised propaganda though.



anyway music:

[Mikey]

Lear-ist 1970's televised propaganda

Those truly were the days.

[Mikey]

Heading out for the Saturday morning run to the flatlands for the farmers market and Costco. Final Four later.

[Sudden Sam]

This week I finally caved to my age-inflicted hip and knee pain, and bought a riding mower. It was delivered yesterday and I cut everything today.

Only disappointment: in lieu of the full gas tank and clean mower I was promised, the old gent who trailered it up here handed me about 30 Jesus tracts. So I spent an hour and a half cleaning and polishing my brand new mower and I got saved…I guess.

Goddam those fuckers.

[Mikey]

Watch out for steep slopes.

[bungle clone]

30 Jesus tracts.

oh wow are they chick tracts?




love those, collected a few over the years. folks sell 'em online too.

[Sudden Sam]

Watch out for steep slopes.

Made one pass up and down the hill. The memories flooded my brain and I decided I’ll be weedeating everything that’s even slightly inclined!

[Sudden Sam]

30 Jesus tracts.

oh wow are they chick tracts?




love those, collected a few over the years. folks sell 'em online too.

I’ve held on to a few of those.

The thing at work now is tiny Jesus dolls being placed around the building. I’ve grabbed several. I keep one in my truck. Confuses those who know me.

[Roux]

Only disappointment: in lieu of the full gas tank and clean mower I was promised, the old gent who trailered it up here handed me about 30 Jesus tracts.

[Jesus H Christ]

The thing at work now is tiny Jesus dolls being placed around the building. I’ve grabbed several. I keep one in my truck. Confuses those who know me.

I don’t get any royalties for those you know. You’d think that I would be able to own the rights to own my own NIL.

[bungle clone]

[HighHard1]

LSU baseball won 2 games at Oklahoma, going for the sweep today, the team is looking good. But Tennessee is looking great, not sure who will be able to keep up with them.

1-9 Texas A&M skullfucked 9-1 Tennessee twice yesterday-wonder what happened there. A shit Texas A&M in the SEC would probably walk away with most any other conference in the country.

[bungle clone]

Two orders of business here:


1. Jesus, I went to Mass this morning, as doubtless you know. Can I ask, what was the deal with the Priest? I'm always keen to pay attention to the sermons, you know, to pick up any theological tidbits that may be in the offing. But this morning Father was just all over the place with a meandering ramble that mentioned the geography of Ephesus, the theme of conversion (which would have been fine if that is what he stuck to) and how he never dreamed as a youngster he would end up a clergyman.

He seemed to say the Mass properly in all other respects. Is he ok? He's not old at all, so dementia seems unlikely. Should he be impeached? Poptart wants to know.

your friend,

bungle




2. A question for High1:

A shit Texas A&M in the SEC would probably walk away with most any other conference in the country.

I don't follow college sports, never have. But eh, the boards have a had a widely cited term: "SEC ball-sucking homer" over time. I believe Jsc810 was tagged with that gloss on occasion. Is that referencing still valid? Do those homers still tongue-fondle testes?

thx and I'll hang up and listen.

[Roux]

That was the preseason #1 ranked A&M team, but who shit the bed when the season actually started and is now unranked.

The first game of the series, Tenn no hit A&M and run ruled them 10-0.

For A&M to come back and win that series on the road after that is pretty amazing.

Yes, the college baseball forum is leaking.

Edit for bungle clone: here's the top 10 according to D1 Baseball.

Tennessee
Arkansas
Georgia
Fla State
Texas
Clemson
LSU
Alabama
Ole Miss
Oklahoma

[Sudden Sam]

The thing at work now is tiny Jesus dolls being placed around the building. I’ve grabbed several. I keep one in my truck. Confuses those who know me.

I don’t get any royalties for those you know. You’d think that I would be able to own the rights to own my own NIL.

[HighHard1]

That was the preseason #1 ranked A&M team, but who shit the bed when the season actually started and is now unranked.

The first game of the series, Tenn no hit A&M and run ruled them 10-0.

For A&M to come back and win that series on the road after that is pretty amazing.

Yes, the college baseball forum is leaking.

Edit for bungle clone: here's the top 10 according to D1 Baseball.

Tennessee
Arkansas
Georgia
Fla State
Texas
Clemson
LSU
Alabama
Ole Miss
Oklahoma

I don't think it's being a ballsucking homer to acknowledge that the SEC is bery, bery good at beisball.

I saw that Tennessee had skullfucked A&M the previous day which as you said makes what they did Saturday even more amazing. Funny fucking game.

Along those lines, I was about to go on a PFP (pitcher fielding plays) rant from a game played Friday, but I'll hold off on that one until tomorrow's or Tuesday's HH1 college baseball report which in keeping with tradition will not be epcot.

[Mikey]

The thing at work now is tiny Jesus dolls being placed around the building. I’ve grabbed several. I keep one in my truck. Confuses those who know me.

I don’t get any royalties for those you know. You’d think that I would be able to own the rights to own my own NIL.

Sorry, bruh. You're Public Domain now.

According to this piece, you were all for it a few years ago.

Jesus Enters Public Domain. Copyright Expired.

TEXAS – June, 2022

After nearly 2,000 years, the Christian Church’s copyright on Jesus has expired. Sources reveal that exclusive rights to the likeness and quotations of the Christ lapsed due to failure to submit proper legal documentation prior to the renewal date.

“We were just so busy focusing on other things,” says a lawyer for the Christian movement who asked to remain anonymous. “With all the recent scandals at Hillsong, the Mars Hill podcast, that whole Greg Locke thing, and now the SBC sexual abuse cover-ups, it’s just really hard to keep up with filing the necessary paperwork required to maintain our copyrights at the same time.”

Many Evangelical Christian leaders were quick to downplay the news that Jesus was entering the public domain. “We hardly refer to Jesus these days, anyway,” said Pastor Robert Jeffress, Senior Executive at First Baptist Church, Dallas, TX. “I mean, I’ve gone on record numerous times to stress publicly just how useless Jesus is, like when I told Christianity Today, “When I’m looking for a leader who’s going to fight ISIS and keep this nation secure, I don’t want some meek and mild leader or somebody who’s going to turn the other cheek. I’ve said I want the meanest, toughest SOB I can find to protect this nation. And so that’s why Trump’s tone doesn’t bother me.” [As quoted in Christianity Today, Oct. 2016]

Other Evangelical pastors agreed that losing the exclusive copyrights to Jesus wasn’t anything to worry about. “I can’t even remember the last time I preached a sermon from those red letters,” says Pastor John MacArthur. “He’s really more of a mascot for us,” says John Piper, “the real meat of our theology comes primarily from the Apostle Paul.”

Legal representatives assured the public that all copyrights and exclusive use of the Apostle Paul’s teachings and quotations have been renewed, filed and extended in perpetuity. “That’s not something we’d ever allow to happen,” says Evangelical Christian legal consultant Emerson Bigguns. “Without the Apostle Paul, this entire enterprise would completely collapse and we’d have nothing. Literally, nothing.”

As Jesus enters the Public Domain, the implications are endless. Some have speculated that people are now free to read his words, follow his teachings and embrace his path without the prior approval of the Christian Church or any official Bible Teacher or Ordained Pastor.

“It’s really exciting,” says Pamela Brown, local Bank Manager. “I’ve always been curious about Jesus, but I was kinda creeped out by his official gatekeepers. Now that he’s more of a free agent, I’m really looking forward to discovering Jesus outside of the Church.”

Local Christian pastors and leaders surveyed said that losing the official copyright wouldn’t prevent them from continued use of his likeness in their advertising or architecture. “That cross is still really the brand, ya know? We’re probably going to keep using it. Especially at Christmas and Easter time,” says Andy Cornholder, Senior Pastor, Backwoods Bible Assembly in Denton, Texas. “Those are our biggest attendance holidays so there’s no reason to change any of that.”

Some Christian leaders were slightly concerned about how other religious groups might reinterpret Jesus outside of their own traditional context. “I just hope they don’t try to make Jesus into this mamby-pamby, lovey-dovey, hippie who just forgives everyone and paints God Almighty as some loving heavenly Father who will accept pretty much anyone,” says Reformed Christian Pastor Mark Mywards. “We have to convince people they’re worthless horse-puckey, otherwise they have no reason to keep coming back every Sunday to get cleaned up and forgiven over and over again.”

Now that Jesus has been liberated from his legal obligations to Christianity, he’s excited about where things might go in the future. “I’ve been waiting for this day for a long, long, LONG time,” Jesus said. “It’s really wonderful to just be myself and not worry about fitting into any sort of religious framework. Now that I can speak for myself again, I think everyone’s going to be really surprised about what I have to say.”

https://www.patheos.com/blogs/keithgile ... t-expired/

[Jesus H Christ]

Two orders of business here:


1. Jesus, I went to Mass this morning, as doubtless you know. Can I ask, what was the deal with the Priest? I'm always keen to pay attention to the sermons, you know, to pick up any theological tidbits that may be in the offing. But this morning Father was just all over the place with a meandering ramble that mentioned the geography of Ephesus, the theme of conversion (which would have been fine if that is what he stuck to) and how he never dreamed as a youngster he would end up a clergyman.

He seemed to say the Mass properly in all other respects. Is he ok? He's not old at all, so dementia seems unlikely. Should he be impeached? Poptart wants to know.

your friend,

bungle

Sorry, I'm not allowed to give out personal information about our employees. So I'll leave it up to you to decide whether he's suffering from early onset dementia, or maybe was up late partying last night and partook of a little "hair of the dog" from the sacramental wine (as you know, we in the RCC actually use the real thing as opposed to the grape juice that most of the phony Jesus-Come-Lately spin-offs that call themselves "Evangelical" use - what a fucking joke) before mass.

As far as being to say the Mass properly, as you know it's exactly the same every week. After so much repetition, it gets so engrained that a lot of these guys could get it perfect if they were just short of comatose.

Sorry I couldn't be of more help, son. Dad bless.

[bungle clone]

you rule and stuff

[Python]

I don’t get any royalties for those you know.

Yes you do. It’s called a tithe. Shut up.

[Jesus H Christ]

I don’t get any royalties for those you know.

Yes you do. It’s called a tithe. Shut up.

When am I going to start seeing 1/10 of your take home in my personal account?