The French Mortician

[Carson]

Gene Hackman, dead at 95.

[kcdave]

Weird deal. Carbon monoxide poisoning perhaps.

[Wolfman]

sad---sounds like CO.

[Innocent Bystander]

Gene Hackman, dead at 95.

That's expected. His wife and dog also dead, that's murder.

[L45B]

that's murder.

Hired assassin.



Even though he was on my DP squad, I can unequivocally say that this was not an inside job.

And though this scored me minimal points, it really pumped a lot of life into my DP squad. RIP

[Roux]

Even though he was on my DP squad, I can unequivocally say that this was not an inside job.

Gene Hackman, Actor, carbon monoxide poisoning, February

[HighPlainsGrifter]

lol, you jerk. I had to go look.

[Sven Golly]

The (Now Absence of) Conversation

Possible theory...wife checks out of some cause, then the dog and Gene have to fend - unsuccessfully - for themselves?

[Dr_Phibes]

Just read that the maintenance man told the police his occupation was 'murderer', when clearly he's just a maintenance man.

Is he hiding something?

[Innocent Bystander]

The (Now Absence of) Conversation

Possible theory...wife checks out of some cause, then the dog and Gene have to fend - unsuccessfully - for themselves?

https://abcnews.go.com/US/actor-gene-ha ... riff/story

The Academy Award-winning actor was found on the floor in the mud room, according to the search warrant. It appeared he fell suddenly, and he and his wife "showed obvious signs of death," the document said.

Arakawa was found lying on her side on the floor in a bathroom, with a space heater near her body, according to the search warrant.

Her body showed signs of decomposition, the document said. There was mummification to her hands and feet, the document said.

On the counter near Arakawa was an opened prescription bottle, with pills scattered, according to the search warrant.

Man, this is the plot of how many Law and Order episodes? Murderer uses heat to throw investigators off time of death. He's dead in what's basically an entry into the house, and she's dead in the bathroom with scattered pills? Is there any scenario where a woman dies while taking medicine at the same time her husband dies while presumably coming into the house or leaving the house without her?

And it was a neighbor who did the welfare check? Where were their servants/ physicians offices? Everybody in this board is older than dirt, now. How often do y'all have medical appointments or check-ins as you get up there? They'll get worried when appointments are missed.

Murdered.

[Diego in Seattle]

The (Now Absence of) Conversation

Possible theory...wife checks out of some cause, then the dog and Gene have to fend - unsuccessfully - for themselves?

https://abcnews.go.com/US/actor-gene-ha ... riff/story

The Academy Award-winning actor was found on the floor in the mud room, according to the search warrant. It appeared he fell suddenly, and he and his wife "showed obvious signs of death," the document said.

Arakawa was found lying on her side on the floor in a bathroom, with a space heater near her body, according to the search warrant.

Her body showed signs of decomposition, the document said. There was mummification to her hands and feet, the document said.

On the counter near Arakawa was an opened prescription bottle, with pills scattered, according to the search warrant.

Man, this is the plot of how many Law and Order episodes? Murderer uses heat to throw investigators off time of death. He's dead in what's basically an entry into the house, and she's dead in the bathroom with scattered pills? Is there any scenario where a woman dies while taking medicine at the same time her husband dies while presumably coming into the house or leaving the house without her?

It's possible that both decedents were overcome by fumes at the same time.

Why would the male decedent need the female decedent to be with him if he's just going outside?

[Innocent Bystander]

Why would a German Shepherd drop dead at the same time?

The puppies are going to warn you that there is an issue. What they're not going to do is head off to a room to die if others in their pack are also in imminent danget of dying. It's a German Shepherd. Dogs go off to die by themselves, they are not cowards going off to die if others also could die.

Foul play. Period.

[mvscal]

Murdered.

All you need is a suspect, a method and a motive.

[L45B]

lol, you jerk. I had to go look.

Go look again for that cause of death. Authorities are talking about a pacemaker on Gene making its last reading.

That could spell doom for the field.

[HighPlainsGrifter]

It could take the rest of the year to get a cause of death. The whole DP could be determined by a coroner in NM this December.

[L45B]

As long as the coroner determines he wasn’t laying there dead since 1/15/2025 before midnight, it will be showering kryptonite from Addis Ababa (into my piggy bank).

[Mikey]

Thought I'd save Sam some work here.

USA TODAY

Updated 1:49 pm EST Mar. 4, 2025

WASHINGTON ‒ Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy says he's ready to work with President Donald Trump to negotiate a peace deal with Russia ‒ effectively ending a standoff between the leaders that exploded Monday evening when the U.S. said it would stop supplying the country with weapons.

[Diego in Seattle]

She was killed by mice droppings, and he died a week later from a heart condition while going through the advanced stages of Alzheimer's.

[smackaholic]

Damn, fugged up way to go.

OL, who is caregiver gets offed by Mickey Mouse. 95 yo Alzheimer sufferer wanders the house for a week or so, doing his best Sleepy Joe imitation before he has a heart attack, likely from dehydration. All the time, the mutts in his cage barking away until he doies from dehydration as well.

Didn't that cheap fuck have a housekeeper?

[Dr_Phibes]

sounds like a Poe story.

[L45B]

95 yo Alzheimer sufferer wanders the house for a week or so, doing his best Sleepy Joe imitation before he has a heart attack, likely from dehydration.

This was an insensitive comment. At least Joe waved to the parachutists while they were still alive.

[Carson]

sounds like a Poe story.

or Black Mirror

[smackaholic]

sounds like a Poe story.

Not sure even Poe could be this dark.

I smell a made for TV movie coming soon.

[Dr_Phibes]

Not sure even Poe could be this dark.

I smell a made for TV movie coming soon.

They'll use it to sell dog kennels.

a knock sounded on the door
a tremble shot up my spine, a coldness I could not attribute to my ailments
again came the knock, I had no choice but to answer

'kennel delivery'! said a voice from the other side

I took him at his word, with an easy payment plan that even I, a miserable digger of graves could afford!

[HighPlainsGrifter]

lol, you jerk. I had to go look.

Go look again for that cause of death. Authorities are talking about a pacemaker on Gene making its last reading.

That could spell doom for the field.

The coroner's report is official.

..."severe atherosclerotic and hypertensive cardiovascular disease

L45B got the cause of death but missed the month. 35 points on the board.

[Mike Ditka]

lol, you jerk. I had to go look.

Go look again for that cause of death. Authorities are talking about a pacemaker on Gene making its last reading.

That could spell doom for the field.

The coroner's report is official.

..."severe atherosclerotic and hypertensive cardiovascular disease

L45B got the cause of death but missed the month. 35 points on the board.

Nice pick by L45B but fuck that cocksucker for picking Me to die in May of heart failure.

[bungle clone]

[L45B]

Go look again for that cause of death. Authorities are talking about a pacemaker on Gene making its last reading.

That could spell doom for the field.

The coroner's report is official.

..."severe atherosclerotic and hypertensive cardiovascular disease

L45B got the cause of death but missed the month. 35 points on the board.

Nice pick by L45B but fuck that cocksucker for picking Me to die in May of heart failure.

The ‘85 Bears were a stunning team, Mike, but frankly they haven’t done shit since. You’re 85, Mike. I don’t see you doing much either after that. Except dying. Worst case for me, you get eighty-sixed in October and I still collect 25 points.