T1B

It's that time of year again! The Masters Tournament will occur this Thursday through Sunday, April 11-14 and since I'm a certified badass in seven states (I swear to god I am) I'll run The Official OneBoard Masters Contest.

To play: Choose two players whose odds (in parentheses) add up to 12,000 or more. For example, if you want Scottie Scheffler at (+400) you'll need to pair him with a player whose odds are (11,600) or higher. Or take Day (5500) & Kim(6500) from the middle of the field for a combined total odds of >12,000.

Odds taken from DraftKings 4/7/24. Odds might change over the next two days so you could wait and see if the lines are moving (*glances at kcdave*) and then make your picks but players are first come, first served. Once a player is selected he cannot be chosen again so don't wait too long or the shit trolls might snipe your players.

To win: Lowest twosome combined score for the entire tournament wins an NFT of a scanned photocopy of a chick kissing a Cheerios trophy that looks like a dick. I swear to god it does!
Both of your players must play the final round. If one of your players gets cut you are eliminated.

Scottie Scheffler 400
Rory McIlroy 1000
Jon Rahm 1200
Xander Schauffele 1800
Brooks Koepka 1800
Jordan Spieth 2200
Joaquin Niemann 2500
Hideki Matsuyama 2500
Ludvig Aberg 2800
Wyndham Clark 2800
Patrick Cantlay 3000
Cameron Smith 3000
Viktor Hovland 3500
Justin Thomas 3500
Dustin Johnson 3500
Bryson DeChambeau 3500
Will Zalatoris 3500
Tony Finau 4000
Matt Fitzpatrick 4000
Collin Morikawa 4000
Max Homa 4500
Tommy Fleetwood 5000
Shane Lowry 5000
Sam Burns 5000
Sahith Theegala 5000
Tyrrell Hatton 5500
Patrick Reed 5500
Jason Day 5500
Cameron Young 5500
Brian Harman 5500
Russell Henley 6000
Min Woo Lee 6000
Si Woo Kim 6500
Corey Conners 6500
Sergio Garcia 7500
Akshay Bhatia 7500
Sungjae Im 8000
Adam Scott 9000
Tom Kim 10000
Tiger Woods 10000
Justin Rose 11000
Rickie Fowler 11000
Denny McCarthy 11000
Phil Mickelson 13000
Sepp Straka 15000
Keegan Bradley 15000
Harris English 15000
Chris Kirk 15000
Bubba Watson 15000
Nicolai Hojgaard 15000
Kurt Kitayama 18000
Adrian Meronk 18000
Nick Taylor 18000
Erik Van Rooyen 18000
Thorbjorn Olesen 18000
Jake Knapp 18000
Stephan Jaeger 18000
Byeong Hun An 18000
Ryan Fox 20000
J.T. Poston 20000
Nick Dunlap 20000
Adam Hadwin 20000
Matthieu Pavon 20000
Taylor Moore 25000
Gary Woodland 25000
Lucas Glover 25000
Eric Cole 25000
Emiliano Grillo 25000
Cam Davis 25000
Charl Schwartzel 30000
Luke List 30000
Adam Schenk 30000
Austin Eckroat 30000
Danny Willett 35000
Ryo Hisatsune 35000
Peter Malnati 35000
Zach Johnson 40000
Lee Hodges 40000
Grayson Murray 50000
Camilo Villegas 80000
Christo Lamprecht 100000
Stewart Hagestad 250000
Vijay Singh 500000
Mike Weir 500000
Jose Maria Olazabal 500000
Fred Couples 500000
Neal Shipley 500000
Jasper Stubbs 500000
Santiago De la Fuente 500000

Rory McIlroy 1000
Rickie Fowler 11000

Boom!
Come at me, bitches.

Will Zalatoris 3500
Adam Scott 9000

Scottie Scheffler 400
Bubba Watson 15,000

Jon Rahm 1200
Justin Rose 11000

Wyndham Clark 2,800
Tom Kim, 10,000

Hideki Matsuyama 2500
Sepp Straka 15,000

Jordan Spieth 2200
Nick Dunlap 20000

Justin Thomas. 3500
Keegan Bradley. 15000

Brooks Koepka 1800
Erik van Rooyen 18000

Chi-Chi Rodríguez 3400
Lee Elder 17500

Viktor Hovland 3500
Phil Mickelson 13000

Patrick Cantlay 3000
Denny McCarthy 11000

Joaquin Neimann 2,500

Harris English 15,000




yo ho ho

FiatLux wrote: ↑Tue Apr 09, 2024 4:17 am Chi-Chi Rodríguez 3400
Lee Elder 17500

Lee Elder is no longer breathing. You could swap him out with Jim Thorpe.

Or swap out Chi-Chi for a dead Latin golfer. I see Seve Ballesteros is still available, though not breathing.

Corey Conners 6500
Bryson DeChambeau 3500

Dr_Phibes wrote: ↑Tue Apr 09, 2024 11:11 pm Corey Conners 6500
Bryson DeChambeau 3500

Jeezus even kcdave can get this right.

Choose two players whose odds add up to 12,000 or more.

Donnie Baker's Ghost wrote: ↑Tue Apr 09, 2024 11:35 pm

Dr_Phibes wrote: ↑Tue Apr 09, 2024 11:11 pm Corey Conners 6500
Bryson DeChambeau 3500

Jeezus even kcdave can get this right.

Choose two players whose odds add up to 12,000 or more.

"From each according to his ability, to each according to his needs"

The rest of us are subsidizing his math with goodwill.

Broken down, crippled ass Tiger Woods- 10000
Some bum I have never heard of Nick Taylor- 18000

Donnie Baker's Ghost wrote: ↑Tue Apr 09, 2024 11:35 pm
Jeezus even kcdave can get this right.

Choose two players whose odds add up to 12,000 or more.

Yes, but I'm confident in my picks and don't want to change them. Can I add a third player to push me over 12,000?

Russell Henley 6000
Sergio Garcia 7500

Joaquin Niemann 2500
Chris Kirk 15000

General Peters wrote: ↑Thu Apr 11, 2024 1:30 pm Joaquin Niemann 2500

RED FLAG - FAIL !


Apparently I need to keep a close watch on some of you fukkers.

Dr_Phibes wrote: ↑Wed Apr 10, 2024 3:45 am

Donnie Baker's Ghost wrote: ↑Tue Apr 09, 2024 11:35 pm
Jeezus even kcdave can get this right.

Choose two players whose odds add up to 12,000 or more.

Yes, but I'm confident in my picks and don't want to change them. Can I add a third player to push me over 12,000?

I'll give you Christo Lamprecht 100000. Final offer.

General Peters wrote: ↑Thu Apr 11, 2024 1:30 pm Joaquin Niemann 2500
Chris Kirk 15000

Neimann has already been picked.

I will be in Augusta for Saturday and Sunday’s rounds.

For the right amount of money I can cough in a backswing or whatever.

kcdave wrote: ↑Wed Apr 10, 2024 12:26 am Some bum I have never heard of Nick Taylor- 18000

Cocksucker shot 5 over today.

Props to Donnie for putting on a game.

Bryson DeChambeau 3500
Adam Scott 9000

Dr_Phibes wrote: ↑Fri Apr 12, 2024 4:17 am Bryson DeChambeau 3500
Adam Scott 9000

L45B wrote: ↑Mon Apr 08, 2024 10:44 pm Will Zalatoris 3500
Adam Scott 9000

Some rounds aren't officially finished but here's the basic gist of where we're at.

Congrats, Meat Head. You lead after round one. Here are some jelly dicks to put on your light switches. You can turn them on with your mouth.


Poster ------ Player ------- Rd1-- Rd2 -- Rd3 -- Rd4 ----Total -- Team Total

Donnie Baker Rory McIlroy 71 0 0 0 71 147
Donnie Baker Rickie Fowler 76 0 0 0 76

L45B Will Zalatoris 70 0 0 0 70 146
L45B Adam Scott 76 0 0 0 76

Meat Head Scottie Scheffler 66 0 0 0 66 140
Meat Head Bubba Watson 74 0 0 0 74

Smackie Chan Jon Rahm 73 0 0 0 73 146
Smackie Chan Justin Rose 73 0 0 0 73

Roach Wyndham Clark 73 0 0 0 73 141
Roach Tom Kim 68 0 0 0 68

Ken Hideki Matsuyama 76 0 0 0 76 149
Ken Sepp Straka 73 0 0 0 73

88Buckeye Jordan Spieth 75 0 0 0 75 152
88Buckeye Nick Dunlap 77 0 0 0 77

Biggie Brooks Koepka 73 0 0 0 73 144
Biggie Erik Van Rooyen 71 0 0 0 71

Sudden Sam Justin Thomas 72 0 0 0 72 150
Sudden Sam Keegan Bradley 78 0 0 0 78

Fiatlux Deadasshole 1 0 0 0 0 0 Couldn't Get it Up
Fiatlux Deadasshole 2 0 0 0 0 0

HPG Viktor Hovland 71 0 0 0 71 144
HPG Phil Mickelson 73 0 0 0 73

TWIS Patrick Cantlay 71 0 0 0 71 145
TWIS Denny McCarthy 74 0 0 0 74

Steve Jobs Joaquin Niemann 70 0 0 0 70 142
Steve Jobs Harris English 72 0 0 0 72

Dr. Phibes Corey Conners 70 0 0 0 70 DISQUALIFIED BECAUSE RULES ARE HARD TO UNDERSTAND
Dr. Phibes Bryson DeChambeau 65 0 0 0 65

kcdave Tiger Woods 73 0 0 0 73 150
kcdave Nick Taylor 77 0 0 0 77

Rootbeer Russell Henley 73 0 0 0 73 145
Rootbeer Sergio Garcia 72 0 0 0 72

Congrats, Meat Head. You lead after round one. Here are some jelly dicks to put on your light switches. You can turn them on with your mouth.

Yeah man, but early leads can fade fast. Hoping Bubba will not tank out.

You ought to get the admins to run an ad for those switch dicks. I bet a lot of posters would want a few, especially the black one. Finance the board and make you rich.

Meat Head got Bubba'd. From first to disqualified. Brutal.

Moving into first place...looks like BIGGIE!
Three way tie for second.
I'm bringing up the rear but still in the game!

Poster ------ Player ------- Rd1-- Rd2 -- Rd3 -- Rd4 ----Total -- Team Total

Donnie Baker Rory McIlroy 71 77 0 0 148 298
Donnie Baker Rickie Fowler 76 74 0 0 150

L45B Will Zalatoris 70 77 0 0 147 297
L45B Adam Scott 76 74 0 0 150

Meat Head Scottie Scheffler 66 72 0 0 138 cut
Meat Head Bubba Watson 74 80 0 0 cut

Smackie Chan Jon Rahm 73 76 0 0 149 cut
Smackie Chan Justin Rose 73 78 0 0 cut

Roach Wyndham Clark 73 78 0 0 cut cut
Roach Tom Kim 72 78 0 0 150

Ken Hideki Matsuyama 76 74 0 0 150 294
Ken Sepp Straka 73 71 0 0 144

88Buckeye Jordan Spieth 79 74 0 0 cut cut
88Buckeye Nick Dunlap 77 74 0 0 cut

Biggie Brooks Koepka 73 73 0 0 146 293
Biggie Erik Van Rooyen 71 76 0 0 147

Sudden Sam Justin Thomas 72 79 0 0 cut cut
Sudden Sam Keegan Bradley 78 71 0 0 149

Fiatlux Deadasshole 1 0 0 0 0 0 Couldn't Get it Up
Fiatlux Deadasshole 2 0 0 0 0 0

HPG Viktor Hovland 71 81 0 0 cut cut
HPG Phil Mickelson 73 75 0 0 148

TWIS Patrick Cantlay 71 75 0 0 146 294
TWIS Denny McCarthy 74 74 0 0 148

Steve Jobs Joaquin Niemann 70 78 0 0 148 294
Steve Jobs Harris English 72 74 0 0 146

Dr. Phibes Corey Conners flag 70 76 0 0 146 DISQUALIFIED BECAUSE RULES ARE HARD TO UNDERSTAND
Dr. Phibes Bryson DeChambeau flag 65 73 0 0 138

kcdave Tiger Woods 73 72 0 0 145 cut
kcdave Nick Taylor 77 81 0 0 cut

Rootbeer Russell Henley 73 77 0 0 150 cut
Rootbeer Sergio Garcia 72 79 0 0 cut

"Meat Head got Bubba'd."

From a champ to a chump. I hope that fukker had to walk home, carrying his clubs.

Welcome to the final round, players.

Biggie has lost the lead but nothing is out of reach in this game. Unless you got cut... or flubbed the selection process.

Leaderboard:
1- L45B 439
1- Hideki Matsuyama 439
3- Donnie Baker's Ghost 440
3- Steve Jobs 440
5- TWIS 443
6- Biggie 447

Poster ------ Player ------- Rd1-- Rd2 -- Rd3 -- Rd4 ----Total -- Team Total

Donnie Baker Rory McIlroy 71 77 71 0 219 440
Donnie Baker Rickie Fowler 76 74 71 0 221

L45B Will Zalatoris 70 77 72 0 219 439
L45B Adam Scott 76 74 70 0 220

Meat Head Scottie Scheffler 66 72 0 0 138 cut
Meat Head Bubba Watson 74 80 0 0 cut

Smackie Chan Jon Rahm 73 76 0 0 149 cut
Smackie Chan Justin Rose 73 78 0 0 cut

Roach Wyndham Clark 73 78 0 0 cut cut
Roach Tom Kim 72 78 0 0 150

Ken Hideki Matsuyama 76 74 71 0 221 439
Ken Sepp Straka 73 71 74 0 218

88Buckeye Jordan Spieth 79 74 0 0 cut cut
88Buckeye Nick Dunlap 77 74 0 0 cut

Biggie Brooks Koepka 73 73 76 0 222 447
Biggie Erik Van Rooyen 71 76 78 0 225

Sudden Sam Justin Thomas 72 79 0 0 cut cut
Sudden Sam Keegan Bradley 78 71 0 0 149

Fiatlux Deadasshole 1 0 0 0 0 0 Couldn't Get it Up
Fiatlux Deadasshole 2 0 0 0 0 0

HPG Viktor Hovland 71 81 0 0 cut cut
HPG Phil Mickelson 73 75 0 0 148

TWIS Patrick Cantlay 71 75 70 0 216 443
TWIS Denny McCarthy 74 74 79 0 227

Steve Jobs Joaquin Niemann 70 78 71 0 219 440
Steve Jobs Harris English 72 74 75 0 221

Dr. Phibes Corey Conners flag 70 76 0 0 146 DISQUALIFIED BECAUSE RULES ARE HARD TO UNDERSTAND
Dr. Phibes Bryson DeChambeau flag 65 73 0 0 138

kcdave Tiger Woods 73 72 0 0 145 cut
kcdave Nick Taylor 77 81 0 0 cut

Rootbeer Russell Henley 73 77 0 0 150 cut
Rootbeer Sergio Garcia 72 79 0 0 cut

You should keep updating my score, then we'll know who the real leader is.

Damn Bubba blew it, I coulda been shitting in tall cotton.

Welcome to the Butler Cabin for the announcement of our 2024 Masters Contest Winner.

Ladies and gentlemen, he gained the lead on day 3 and held it to the finish. I present for your consideration, the 2024 champion, L45B with a total combined score of 580. Please note also, that filthy cheater who keeps complaining about the rules would not have won even with his filthy cheating ways.

The Biggiest fall from grace was our loser who fell from first on day 2 to last on Sunday.

Thanks to all the players. Hope to see you again next year.

L45B Will Zalatoris 70 77 72 69 288 580
L45B Adam Scott 76 74 70 72 292

Steve Jobs Joaquin Niemann 70 78 71 73 292 584
Steve Jobs Harris English 72 74 75 71 292

Donnie Baker Rory McIlroy 71 77 71 73 292 585
Donnie Baker Rickie Fowler 76 74 71 72 293

Ken Hideki Matsuyama 76 74 71 74 295 585
Ken Sepp Straka 73 71 74 72 290

TWIS Patrick Cantlay 71 75 70 76 292 589
TWIS Denny McCarthy 74 74 79 70 297

Biggie Brooks Koepka 73 73 76 75 297 598
Biggie Erik Van Rooyen 71 76 78 76 301

Donnie Baker's Ghost wrote: ↑Mon Apr 15, 2024 12:13 am Please note also, that filthy cheater who keeps complaining about the rules would not have won even with his filthy cheating ways.

Wow, Dave fucking up yet another game someone else volunteers to run? You don't say.

Boo-yah. But golf isn’t even my doctorate sport.

Donnie, if you run a Wimbledon pick’em this year, I would kill it (as in, not win )