Schiano to Michigan???

MuchoBulls · Post by **MuchoBulls** » Fri Dec 07, 2007 5:13 am

ESPN reporting Schiano had a lengthy meeting today with Michigan.

He probably sees that Rutgers isn't going to do much next year since Rice is as good as gone and their D loses a good deal of starters.

Cicero · Post by **Cicero** » Fri Dec 07, 2007 5:38 am

That would be a great hire.

WolverineSteve · Post by **WolverineSteve** » Fri Dec 07, 2007 5:56 am

How much longer will JoPa go? If he goes 3 more years (a stretch if you ask me) Schiano could leave and Miles could get his shot.

Just speculating. I don't think they'd make a hire that they couldn't lock up long term. Martin has now said that there are some 20 names on his list. This thing may take a while yet to sort itself out.

M Club · Post by **M Club** » Fri Dec 07, 2007 7:50 am

apparently this guy's excited about shiano possibly coaching michigan:

SCHIANO is coming (not official yet, but soon). This guy is Bo incarnate. New blood. Toughness. He is everything we want. Don't be taken in by Brian's post - recall the "Bo Who?" headlines of years past. This guy is the real deal. Get ready for a new era of Michigan Football. Or rather, a return to the past. Defense wins championships. Ask Tressel. Schiano knows defense. Ask his opponents.

SCHIANO is a better coach than Miles. Ask any coach in the league. Schiano has done a lot with a little. We have hugely better players, but he has a hugely better defense. Tressel just called me and told me he was worried. He was leaning towards Miles. Tressel is not even talking to Herby any more for f---ing that up. Now he's really pissed, because people won't remember he was 6-1 against Lloyd when Schiano comes knocking.

Dialogue:
"KNOCK, KNOCK." says Schiano.
"Who's There?" says Tressel.
"SCHIANO." says Schiano.
"Oh shit." says Tressel.
"I'm going to kick your ass." says Schiano.

Ooops. Got cut off. Who had this record?
5-3-2
6-3
7-3
9-1 (one good year!)
6-4
7-3

For those paying attention, that was none other than Bo S.'s record at Miami (Ohio).

Schiano's numbers at Rutgers: eerily similar. Note the other similarity: Last name that begins with "Sch".

I hear Tressel is up all night vomiting.

I just talked to Schiano. He said he could kick Brian Kelly's ass. I believe him.

Would someone please rent Red Dawn again? I am afraid the newer generation has missed out on my stunning epic about wolverines who defeat the Reds.

@ hat
you are a f---ing Michigan man. Awesome!
p.s. Greg Schiano might be willing to hire you as an assistant. Assistant what? you might ask. Assistant ass kicker.

@ 00goblue00
Schiano just told me: no one tells Schiano whom to bring in. If Schiano wants two siamese cats as his coordinators, that's who Schiano will bring in.

Tressel just tendered his resignation. He offered three reasons: Greg. F---ing. Schiano.

Stars of Red Dawn, the movie about Wolverines who defeat the evil Reds:
Patrick Swayze
C. Thomas Howell
Charlie Sheen
Those dudes died for their country. So I honor them with this name.

Schiano just hollered "Yes, I will take the F---ing job, Martin" from NJ, and I heard him. He is that loud.

Tressel heard him too, and went out to his barn and hung himself.

Schiano says that the only concession he will make is to lose to Penn St. once in a while - Schiano has that much respect for JoePa.

Schiano, out of the kindness of Schiano's heart, has agreed to take on Charlie Weiss as his OC. When UM rolls to three national titles, this will show that the Schiano can do anything, including turning CW into a winner.

Schiano doesn't break hearts - he eats them. First on the menu: One juicy red heart, wrapped in a sweatervest, dripping Buckeye blood.

Schiano doesn't do ploys. He just does ass kicking. If offered, this will happen, probably by Monday.

It will be questioned for months.

It will be widely celebrated as genius after 10 years, 2 national championships, and a 7-3 record against Tressel (and successor).

Schiano doesn't ask JoePa -- he tells him. Right now, he is telling him: retire old man. Otherwise, I'm coming to eat you up too. Too much Tressel will leave a man feeling hungry. Some JoePa would do nicely.

Alternate thought: Schiano is Bo. Has anyone ever seen the two of them together? Hmm....

Schiano just called me. He told me Chuck Norris is dead, and his beating heart is in Schiano's hand. Schiano threw the heart towards Ohio, and it landed in Tressel's backyard. It is still there, thumping, counting down to the game. Thump, thump; thump, thump.

Brady Hoke just called Schiano. Schiano killed him with his words. May God rest Hoke's soul. Then Schiano revived him by punching in a special phone code. What did Schiano type into the phone to revive Hoke? Easy: 724-4266. That's SCH-IANO. Hoke won't be telling anyone anything about the UM job anymore.

Schiano doesn't do caricature. Caricature is for losers, and sweatervests. Schiano just is, and just does.

Oh, Schiano just called again and said to me: stop telling everyone what Schiano is like. That is for Schiano to do. Schiano doesn't let others speak for him.

Schiano also told BM: Schiano doesn't need a contract. Just spit and shake hands. The only thing holding up the deal: Martin has a dry mouth. Schiano's hand is spit-ful and ready to go.

Schiano to Les Miles: You say your team is "damn strong". Mine is damn stronger, no need to say it.

Also, Schiano tells me he once wrestled Les Miles, Tressel, and a live gator all at once. Only the gator survived. The gator's name? You guessed it: Tebow.

indyfrisco · Post by **indyfrisco** » Fri Dec 07, 2007 1:17 pm

That dude is trix on steroids.

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Fri Dec 07, 2007 1:18 pm

They should offer him the job right now. If I was AD, Schiano would be my 2nd choice, Brian Kelly #1.

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Fri Dec 07, 2007 1:47 pm

IndyFrisco wrote:That dude is trix on steroids.

More like that dude is Trixie with a brain and a sense of humor. And perhaps an overabundance of caffeine.

Killian · Post by **Killian** » Fri Dec 07, 2007 2:59 pm

Schiano dropped the pimp hand on UofM. He's staying at Rutgers.

Shoalzie · Post by **Shoalzie** » Fri Dec 07, 2007 3:17 pm

Killian wrote:Schiano dropped the pimp hand on UofM. He's staying at Rutgers.

Yup, just heard that on the radio.

Killian · Post by **Killian** » Fri Dec 07, 2007 3:47 pm

Jsc810 wrote:Bullshit. If Michigan would have offered the job to him, he would have taken it. Therefore, Michigan didn't offer him the job.

I can't tell if you are trolling or if you are serious. If it's the latter, I can see him staying at Rutgers. He wants the PSU job in a bad way and he would likely give up that chance if he takes the UofM job.

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Fri Dec 07, 2007 4:34 pm

I agree with Killian. I think Martin did the right thing by persuing Schiano even though Schiano wasn't (apparently) very interested. In that case, Schiano is smart to stay at Rutgers where he's likely got total job security until Joe Pa retires in the year 2056.

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Fri Dec 07, 2007 4:49 pm

I know I'd be happy with Schiano at PSU.

TheJON · Post by **TheJON** » Fri Dec 07, 2007 6:01 pm

He's probably waiting for the Penn State job to come open.

WolverineSteve · Post by **WolverineSteve** » Fri Dec 07, 2007 6:22 pm

I think he may have ambitions toward Happy Valley.

Sin,
The other 5 times it's been mentioned

M Club · Post by **M Club** » Fri Dec 07, 2007 6:24 pm

this just means michigan's third offer to ferentz will be that much higher.

WolverineSteve · Post by **WolverineSteve** » Fri Dec 07, 2007 6:38 pm

I think the search may be headed in a dangerous direction. By that I mean the next few guys interviewed will basically be plan b or c candidates. The world knew Miles was top priority, and it doesn't look bad that the coach of a MNC-caliber team wants to stay put. But when Ferentz turns down UM (allegedly), now Schiano, what does the next guy feel like? "So coach X, UM is a historically rich institution that any coach should aspire to get to"...not according to the top 2 choices. Now Grobe is staying at WF, who the hell is out there? Glen Mason, please no! Brady f'ing Hoke? I'd rather have Ron English. Pinkel? He was thought to be an underachiever before this year. Peterson? Too wet behind the ears, HC-wise.

It'll be interesting. But in a profession where ego's are large, who wants to be third or fouth option?

Killian · Post by **Killian** » Fri Dec 07, 2007 6:40 pm

WolverineSteve wrote:I think the search may be headed in a dangerous direction. By that I mean the next few guys interviewed will basically be plan b or c candidates. The world knew Miles was top priority, and it doesn't look bad that the coach of a MNC-caliber team wants to stay put. But when Ferentz turns down UM (allegedly), now Schiano, what does the next guy feel like? "So coach X, UM is a historically rich institution that any coach should aspire to get to"...not according to the top 2 choices. Now Grobe is staying at WF, who the hell is out there? Glen Mason, please no! Brady f'ing Hoke? I'd rather have Ron English. Pinkel? He was thought to be an underachiever before this year. Peterson? Too wet behind the ears, HC-wise.

It'll be interesting. But in a profession where ego's are large, who wants to be third or fouth option?

Who says the first option is off the table?

WolverineSteve · Post by **WolverineSteve** » Fri Dec 07, 2007 6:46 pm

I know, but at this time I would call Miles a serious longshot. Unless theres a deal done in private for post MNC, I don't see it happening. That would mean that all these other interviews were just window dressing, and I don't necessarily buy that.

We'll see I guess.

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Fri Dec 07, 2007 6:49 pm

Miles has signed his extension.

WolverineSteve · Post by **WolverineSteve** » Fri Dec 07, 2007 7:00 pm

MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:Miles has signed his extension.

true. Those holding out hope point to the fact that the UM buyout clause didn't go up at all. I'm not of that school of thought.

Killian · Post by **Killian** » Fri Dec 07, 2007 7:04 pm

Or it could have gone down like this:

Miles: "I want to be the next coach!"

Carr to Martin: "Fuck Miles, hire Frentz"

Martin: "Ok, Kirk?"

Ferentz: "No."

Miles: "I have this contract! I'm going to sign it!!!"

Carr: "Ferentz."

Martin: "Kirk?"

Ferentz: "No."

Martin to Carr: "Okay, now we go after my first choice, Schiano. Greg?"

Miles: "I signed my contract!"

Schiano: "Yes, wait.........no."

Carr to Martin: "Back to the drawing board, how about a coordinator or Brady Hoke?

Martin to Carr: "Fuck you, Lloyd. I'll handle this."

Miles to Dan Patrick: "Just to make it perfectly clear, I would never turn my back on UofM. They are the only school mentioned by name in my contract."

Martin: "Hello, Les?"

There is a possibility that Miles was never directly contact about the job. He still could be. In fact, the longer this goes, the more I think it's him.

M Club · Post by **M Club** » Fri Dec 07, 2007 7:25 pm

IndyFrisco wrote:That dude is trix on steroids.

i was thinking brad with a degree. his concession:

I am sad, because I do a great Schiano impersonation. Oh well.

since i need a shot of optimism, i'll buy killian's thought that martin is playing this shrewdly. i really just think he's smug. i don't care that we've been turned down by the coach at rutgers, but i am worried about the process martin's lording over. most of the candidates you'd think michigan will have a serious look at are in pretty solid control of the programs they're at right now. i get the feeling scrooge martin doesn't plan to jettison the contracts he awarded to lloyd's assistants and the incoming coach is expected to assume the staff as is. great, brady hoke will be coaching us next year.

martin was hired to clean up the mess tom goss left behind and to pull michigan from the red. he's done that and is on the verge of pushing through luxury boxes, which would actually give michigan legitimate home field advantage. i suppose whatever icompetent yes-man he hires will need as many breaks as he can get.

WolverineSteve · Post by **WolverineSteve** » Fri Dec 07, 2007 7:42 pm

Funny breakdown of Miles fiasco...

http://thepalestra.com/player.php?id=8899

BSmack · Post by **BSmack** » Fri Dec 07, 2007 8:20 pm

M Club wrote:he's done that and is on the verge of pushing through luxury boxes, which would actually give michigan legitimate home field advantage.

How the fuck do a bunch of rich folks sipping wine and nibbling on brie in a luxury box give you home field advantage?

MuchoBulls · Post by **MuchoBulls** » Fri Dec 07, 2007 8:45 pm

I wonder if Kelly is back in the mix now. Rumor has it that he has already asked Cincinnati to renegotiate his contract.

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Fri Dec 07, 2007 8:51 pm

MuchoBulls wrote:I wonder if Kelly is back in the mix now. Rumor has it that he has already asked Cincinnati to renegotiate his contract.

That reminds me Mucho... in a couple of weeks, I'm planning on insulting your lineage, the morality of your female relatives, your intelligence, and your dentistry... right before I end up sporting your sig for a predetermined length of time, probably.

Assuming you're game.

Jimmy Medalions · Post by **Jimmy Medalions** » Fri Dec 07, 2007 9:00 pm

WolverineSteve wrote:I think the search may be headed in a dangerous direction. By that I mean the next few guys interviewed will basically be plan b or c candidates.

If your AD is a complete dumbfuck, plan c can work out great. It did for us.

M Club · Post by **M Club** » Fri Dec 07, 2007 9:03 pm

BSmack wrote:
M Club wrote:he's done that and is on the verge of pushing through luxury boxes, which would actually give michigan legitimate home field advantage.
How the fuck do a bunch of rich folks sipping wine and nibbling on brie in a luxury box give you home field advantage?

it would fucking harnass the fucking accoustics and make michigan stadium fucking louder than the fucking retirement community's bingo game it's always fucking sounded like.

M Club · Post by **M Club** » Fri Dec 07, 2007 9:14 pm

by the by, stadium renovations: http://mgoblue.com/Multimedia/Multimedi ... ryId=82220

if you've never been to michigan stadium and actually watch this, the blue lip you see along the north and south sides of the simulated renovation runs the perimeter of the stadium's crown right now. other than taking up a lot of land, the stadium is rather unimposing from the outside, an apt welcome for what awaits inside.

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Fri Dec 07, 2007 11:23 pm

the stadium is rather unimposing from the outside

Yeah, I thought that's where Pioneer played the first time I drove by. Then you get inside and it looks like Mark Mangino's custom-made toilet.

I'm not sure Michigan will land a "big name" head coach at this point...depending what your definition of big name is. The job being so high profile might work against UM just a bit. A sizeable chunk of Michigan fans and alumni will not accept the team to go through a "rebuilding" period despite the fact that's exactly what Michigan is staring at when you look at this roster and see who they're NOT returning. UM is looking at an 8-4 or 7-5 season in '08 and that will put instant pressure on the new head coach...especially if he's from the "elite" status. Why leave a good thing for that, other than just the money?

WolverineSteve · Post by **WolverineSteve** » Sat Dec 08, 2007 5:31 am

MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:
the stadium is rather unimposing from the outside
Yeah, I thought that's where Pioneer played the first time I drove by. Then you get inside and it looks like Mark Mangino's custom-made toilet.

I'm not sure Michigan will land a "big name" head coach at this point...depending what your definition of big name is. The job being so high profile might work against UM just a bit. A sizeable chunk of Michigan fans and alumni will not accept the team to go through a "rebuilding" period despite the fact that's exactly what Michigan is staring at when you look at this roster and see who they're NOT returning. UM is looking at an 8-4 or 7-5 season in '08 and that will put instant pressure on the new head coach...especially if he's from the "elite" status. Why leave a good thing for that, other than just the money?

You must be an idiot. Not that the board needs me to point it out. Clearly, if you've been anywhere near Michigan Stadium, you cannot mistake where the hole that Yost dug is. For one thing, Pioneer High has lights, Michigan Stadium does not, oh and The Big House seats 108,000 and Pioneer high about 5,000. I can see where little brother might have trouble with size, but at least be honest. You can lie to the whores you scrape out of the "Riv", but do not lie to the men on here. Your jealousy knows no bounds.

M Club · Post by **M Club** » Sat Dec 08, 2007 6:04 am

MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:
the stadium is rather unimposing from the outside
Yeah, I thought that's where Pioneer played the first time I drove by. Then you get inside and it looks like Mark Mangino's custom-made toilet.

I'm not sure Michigan will land a "big name" head coach at this point...depending what your definition of big name is. The job being so high profile might work against UM just a bit. A sizeable chunk of Michigan fans and alumni will not accept the team to go through a "rebuilding" period despite the fact that's exactly what Michigan is staring at when you look at this roster and see who they're NOT returning. UM is looking at an 8-4 or 7-5 season in '08 and that will put instant pressure on the new head coach...especially if he's from the "elite" status. Why leave a good thing for that, other than just the money?

i actually thought it was the physics building, and then i thought umich doesn't really take their academics too seriously, do they? other than rynearson and autzen, it was the only college stadium i saw before my first visit to state, and i was absolutely flabbergasted at how big spartan stadium was. then i remembered, oh yeah, hole in the ground, great playing surface.

i don't think michigan goes 8-4 next year regardless of the coach. their ooc is utah [win], toledo [win], miami (oh) [win], and notre dame [two wins]. there are definitely more than four potential losses in the big ten right now, but i think they have enough talent to split them.

i don't necessarily want a big name coaching michigan. that would smack of desperation and a quick fix. michigan's not exactly broken; it's just in need of some recalibration. if we end up with some inbred coach from the michigan "family," then i guess i'll take you up on that 8-4 b/c it might be our best season for quite some time.

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Sat Dec 08, 2007 5:52 pm

WolverineSteve wrote:You must be an idiot. Not that the board needs me to point it out. Clearly, if you've been anywhere near Michigan Stadium, you cannot mistake where the hole that Yost dug is. For one thing, Pioneer High has lights, Michigan Stadium does not, oh and The Big House seats 108,000 and Pioneer high about 5,000. I can see where little brother might have trouble with size, but at least be honest. You can lie to the whores you scrape out of the "Riv", but do not lie to the men on here. Your jealousy knows no bounds.

Wow...just...wow.

I realize that nobody would ever mistake you for somebody with a sense of humor, but I figured even you might catch on to blatant sarcasm when dangled right in front of you.

M Club · Post by **M Club** » Sat Dec 08, 2007 8:54 pm

letter from sailboat martin i found on mgoblog:

Dear UM Alum,
I will be out of the office on University business for the next 6 weeks. I will be touring the carribean on my sailboat and will be leaving my blackberry/treo on shore. No matter, neither works anyhow. If there is an emergency please send message by either flare gun or in a bottle.

Some of you may have heard that we are presently looking for a new HC. I assure you that the sole purpose of my travel is to find UM a new coach. As you may know, the carribean is a hot bed of coaching activity. We have a process in place and I have full faith in this process. I also believe in Santa Claus... he's real, Lloyd told me so. Also, please stop sending emails regarding the possible hiring of Mr. Miles. We are no longer pursuing Mr. Miles as our 'process' has ruled him out. In fact, at the overwhelming request of our donors we had reconsidered Mr. Miles, but the topic interuppted Lloyd's poetry reading hour so we decided it is obviously not a good fit. Possible candidates include Wayne Fonts, Llyod's wife, John Cooper, Bob Costas, Bill Belichek, Reggie Bush, and Llyod's cat. OJ simpson has turn our offer down.

Please trust that MSC and I are doing whatever it takes to please Lloyd so that we may continue down the path he has directed us towards: Division IAA. Please, do not be shocked. There are so many advantages of being a IAA school, for example, our fans will not only accept but will also expect to lose to OSU every year, this will take a great deal of pressure off of you. Also, we will get another shot at App. State, a possibility which has Lloyd VERY excited. Another advantage, no more bowl games to lose. This will be our new motto: If you cant beat'em, don't play'em. I for one am very excited to be playing schools like Alma College and Schoolcraft College. Yes, I know Schoolcraft does not have a football team, but that just means we win by default. See that, smart!

Bottom line folks, we have your best interests at heart, as long as they don't make Lloyd mad. F@ck it, football is cancelled; but the renovations of the Big House will go forward as planned as we are confident that fans will attend Lloyd's saturday afternoon poetry readings in droves.

In closing, we have a petition circulating around campus for the purpose of changing the university name to Carr University. Please sign it or I will hire Janet Reno.

Humbly your servant,

Billy "Skipper" Martin

WolverineSteve · Post by **WolverineSteve** » Sun Dec 09, 2007 12:40 am

MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:
WolverineSteve wrote:You must be an idiot. Not that the board needs me to point it out. Clearly, if you've been anywhere near Michigan Stadium, you cannot mistake where the hole that Yost dug is. For one thing, Pioneer High has lights, Michigan Stadium does not, oh and The Big House seats 108,000 and Pioneer high about 5,000. I can see where little brother might have trouble with size, but at least be honest. You can lie to the whores you scrape out of the "Riv", but do not lie to the men on here. Your jealousy knows no bounds.
Wow...just...wow.

I realize that nobody would ever mistake you for somebody with a sense of humor, but I figured even you might catch on to blatant sarcasm when dangled right in front of you.

No shit holmes, but it was lame. Call it what you will, but it was lame and unfunny sarcasm. Keep trying there skippy.

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Sun Dec 09, 2007 12:52 am

Heh.

So why not just call it lame instead of going on a tangent about how Michigan Stadium can't possibly be where Pioneer plays?

Vito Corleone · Post by **Vito Corleone** » Sun Dec 09, 2007 7:05 am

After living in Utah for a year now I can honestly say that Bronco Mendenhall is the shit, I mean it. This guy can seriously coach; I don't know what it would take to get him away from BYU but he is worth it. I would love for him to take over in Austin when Mack is done. He is definitely one of those guys who does much more with less.

BTW any reason why Rich Rodriguez name is not mentioned?

WolverineSteve · Post by **WolverineSteve** » Sun Dec 09, 2007 3:57 pm

Vito Corleone wrote:After living in Utah for a year now I can honestly say that Bronco Mendenhall is the shit, I mean it. This guy can seriously coach; I don't know what it would take to get him away from BYU but he is worth it. I would love for him to take over in Austin when Mack is done. He is definitely one of those guys who does much more with less.

BTW any reason why Rich Rodriguez name is not mentioned?

I'd like for Martin to interview Bronco, don't know if he's on the "list of 20 or so".

As for RR, I think it's pretty well known that he already has his dream job. Coaching where he played, I think he rebuffed many people looking into him over the past couple seasons. He loves West Virginia, that of itself is enough to question his makeup.

Danimal · Post by **Danimal** » Sun Dec 09, 2007 6:44 pm

I don't know if Mendenhall would leave BYU or not but he is a great coach that would be worth looking-at.

Adelpiero · Post by **Adelpiero** » Sun Dec 09, 2007 7:03 pm

i always thought Todd Dodge would be a Tejas candidate when Mack leaves! Atleast thats what several Dallas UT fans claimed while he was killing Tejas Highschool teams at SLC