T1B

I say, old chaps, as Mod, I'm going to do my best to give this soccer thing a proper go.

So what are some good ways to pass the time during the average football match? I'm not much for singing, brawling, or peeing in plastic bags.

How about taking a sip of delicious Hamm's beer whenever one team scores a goal?

Okay, strike that, a man could die of thirst.

How about a sip every time someone gets kicked in the legs and rolls around on the ground? And a good kick to the nuts means you slam the whole beer!

Who's with me!!!?

One bottle of meths every time Fester curls off a stinking turd of a post in this forum?

<----------grabs popcorn

Actually it could work:

-- Every time an Italian player dives, take a drink.
-- Every blown call by the refs, take two drinks.
-- Every time Germany scores a goal, take two drinks.
-- Ditto for every goal Germany gives up.
-- Every time ESPN shows a highlight of Ronaldinho, take a drink.
-- Each time an ESPN pundit mentions Ronaldinho, take a drink.
-- Each time ESPN shows a replay of Ronaldinho during a live game, take a drink.
-- Each game France fails to score a goal, down your glass.
-- Each time a player does a running airplane after scoring a goal, take two drinks.
-- Every time an ESPN announcer says "Borgetti," take two drinks.
-- Each time an ESPN announcer or pundit says "Socceroos," take two drinks.
-- Whenever ESPN or Univision displays a Brazilian logo on days in which Brazil doesn't play, take two drinks.

While doing a little prepping for the hospice folks at my friend's folks house (what a FREAKING JOY that is), I had the Brazil game on.

The house next door was flying a Brazilian flag out front, which my friend, not being a soccer fan, didn't exactly understand when we pulled up. "Just wait," I told him.

Thought the house was going to crumble after Brazil scored...and I was inside when it happened.


Didn't know there was many Brazilians living in $500,000+ houses in the niiiice burbs, but I guess there's at least one.


Good times.

In '94, a buddy of mine and I drove from Lawrence to Dallas to see the quarterfinal between Holland and Brazil. He was married to a woman from Brazil and had lived there himself a few years ... said the entire country literally shuts down when the national team plays in the World Cup -- taxis, busses, everything except for emergency services and bars.

The parties that started down there won't end until the team is knocked out or about a week after they win the whole thing.

Most Brazilian fans seem pretty deece. At least the ones in Dallas that we hung out with. I was pulling for Holland big-time. Most of the Brazilian fans were pretty classy after they beat the Dutch 3-2 in what was probably the best game in the '94 tournament.

do the police death squads take a hyatus from killing annoying homeless waifs as well?

nice country, brazil.

If we had drinks after everytime a guy faked an injury, most of us would be dead from alcohol poisoing. It's such a beautiful sport when it's played right and not with all of the stupid drama.