Jupiter

[Dinsdale]

If you're in the northern part of the country... buckle up, fukkos.

Being the trendsetters we are in these parts, we got first dibs on winter storm Jupiter. But looks like most of you are going to get a taste, and it's a doozy.

Fourth fucking time it's snowed this winter. I'd say once every two years is about average, but one never knows with La Nina. It ain't like we're flush with snowplows and such, since it doesn't snow often or much. We usually all cry out "SNOW DAY!!!!" and get drunk. Snowed anywhere from 2" -15", and amounts varied wildly throughout the area. 7" where I am. All kinds of trees going down.

I think you guys in the cold snowy places are about to get fugggggged. But we'll see.

[MgoBlue-LightSpecial]

Not here in West Michigan. Usually we're knee deep in lake effect snow right about now, but the 7 day forecast is showing mid 30s and dry all the way up to the high 40s early next week. Might have to break out the shorts and sandals.

[Wolfman]

Names for snowstorms? Well I guess it gives the folks at NOAA something to do in the winter.

[Left Seater]

I think the names are strictly in place to ramp up ratings.

[Dinsdale]

I think they typically name the large ones. But we rarely hear about it because we expect storms in winter. But I think we probably heard the name of this one because it's a monster.

There are places in the Sierra that got 10 feet of snow in several hours. Around here, there was more snow in the vallies than the Cascades, which is rare.

[BSmack]

Typical east coast bias.

[Moving Sale]

Nothing to drastic here, just steady rain for two days. Lake Nacimiento went from 20% to 50% in a week.

[Dinsdale]

It's nice to see Cali getting rain/snow in a somewhat non-devastating way. It benefits the entire country.

[Moving Sale]

You know what! Fuck you. I drop a "to" instead of a "too" in a thread I know you're going to read and I get Bubkas?
Very disappointing.

[Dinsdale]

Typos happen. Goodness knows this keyboard is getting old.

But your less-than-remedial punctuation is always an issue.

[Mikey]

I think this "naming winter storms" shit is pretty much just from the Weather Channel, in order to promote Globall Warming fear.

More likely just to get under your skin.

Not sure why they'd want to do that, though.

[War Wagon]

Epic ice storm on the way here, which is what happens every damn time the Chiefs have a home playoff game... every 10 years or so on average. Some new severe weather record will be set while they lose 14-13 when a last second FG attempt clanks off the south goal post. For Mikey, that's the one on the "right" when he's facing East.

There's a tremendous run going on at every Walmart within a 150 mile radius of KC for every item that isn't on the top or bottom shelves... but mainly for toilet paper. Always toilet paper. IKYABWAI's will be kung fu fighting over the last roll of Charmin.

Seriously, I just hope the power stays on and get to watch the damn game.

[BSmack]

There is literally only one type of weather that we get in Rochester that actually scares me. And that's a good old fashioned ice storm. Barren the hatches Wags.

[Innocent Bystander]

We're fogged in 5 out of 7 days, and I'll leave it at that.

[Dinsdale]

And that's a good old fashioned ice storm.

Already had one a couple of weeks ago. But over the last couple of days, temps in some local spots slightly cracked freezing, then got cold as fuck. It's not from freezing rain, but ice is ice.

We're fogged in 5 out of 7 days

"Fogged in"? I've heard of "socked in" (low clouds that stay stationary) and "iced in" (sup me right now), but I've never been stuck in fog that keeps me from leaving the house, and I live in a foggy place.

Albuquerque sucks, BTW.

[Dinsdale]

But on the bright side -- it's looking like a possible pineapple express coming for the beginning of next week. Mid-50's, heavy rains. On top of piles of low-elevation snow, you might be seeing us on the national newscasts. Hopefully, the Army Corps have got the upriver reservoirs drained way down, but there's going to be a lot of water coming very quickly. Way upriver on the Columbia, apparently there's a mile long stretch of the Snake River that's frozen and impounding a huge amount of water behind it -- they were trying to get ahead of it, but I guess the military never ponied up the explosives. But stop up the flow of a large, 1000 mile long river, then have the ice dam melt... what could go wrong (nevermind that some of the dams below there are in really crappy shape).

Setting up much like 21 years ago, when we had the Great Flood of 1996. I'm soooooo over winter.

Been nice knowing you guys.

[War Wagon]

Update from 1/12 in that I almost thought this post deserved it's own thread title of how:

I Got Over At Walmart Today

There's a tremendous run going on at every Walmart within a 150 mile radius of KC...

So on Thursday and Friday, people were raiding every grocery store in town in preparation for an Ice Storm of epic proportions. Power could or would be out for days, if not weeks! You will be prisoners in your own homes, unable to walk or drive anywhere. You better be prepared, you'll need survival training and 12 loafs of bread, etc. The local news were showing empty store shelves and packed store parking lots. Lines of people stocking up on every staple. Long lines.

I told the wife, fuck that noise. We'll hunker down for few days and be just fine as long as the power stays on. And who knows, maybe it won't amount to much and this is all needless panic over nothing.

So we go out Saturday morning and there was just a slight icy glaze on the cars but all the main roads were fine, pre-treated with a salt brine and beet juice mixture. The roads were practically deserted, like it was Christmas.

So we drive on over to the nearest Walmart, about 5 miles from home, at about 9:15 am. There's like maybe 2-3 dozen cars, at most, in the entire parking lot. I have never seen this at any Walmart anywhere, at any time, of any given day. Wife is like well, "they'll be out of everything" and I'm like "no they won't, the roads are fine and they've had time to restock". The only thing they were even low on stock of was dog food, everything else had been freshly restocked or was in the the process thereof.

I mean, this was eerily strange indeed, like some alternate universe I've never been to. I live in the 'burbs of KC North and it's done nothing but steadily grown bigger for the last 30 years I've been here. Every grocery store within 5 miles is always busy but especially every Walmart.

Anyways, that's my goofy story about how we dealt with Ice Storm Jupiter of 2017 that will be talked about in these parts decades from now.

[Dinsdale]

Fuck you.

Sin,
Dude who is still somewhat iced in 5 days later

[Moving Sale]

Yeah it's pretty cold here. 42 last night. 50 right now. Probably won't break 60 today. Fucking brutal.

[Bucmonkey]

78/60

[smackaholic]

Pretty fuking boring in the U&R. Cloudless sky, not too much wind, mid thirties. I'll take that all day long and twice on sundays this time of year. Gets into the 20s at night, which is enough to keep a crust of frost on the ground. This beats what we had early in the week. Warm rain after a cold spell. The yard turns into something resembling chocolate pudding to a depth of about 4 inches with still frozen ground beneath that. Trying to drive across this is a bad idea. I reminded myself of that a few years ago. Got to spend a few hours with 2x12 boards, shovels and liberal amounts of swearing and telling myself what a fukking idiot I was. Finally got out with a bit of help from some steel cable and the OL's minivan.

[Dinsdale]

Doesn't get icy all that often here, but we're familiar with the devices known as "tire chains."

But hell, I taught someone from Boston how to cover a windshield with newspaper. And wrap the wipers.

I think the U&R crowd is a little spoiled with their bad-weather services, which we have very little of... but we do have steep hills everywhere.

Supposed to be mid 50's and raining heavily in a couple of days, or so they say. So we'll go from road too icy to travel to roads that are underwater. Been a rough few weeks.

[MgoBlue-LightSpecial]

That sounds like a lot of work. I just use this feature called the "defroster." It's pretty sweet. All the ice melts in 5 minutes or less, even a thick layer.

[War Wagon]

The yard turns into something resembling chocolate pudding to a depth of about 4 inches with still frozen ground beneath that. Trying to drive across this is a bad idea. I reminded myself of that a few years ago. Got to spend a few hours with 2x12 boards, shovels and liberal amounts of swearing and telling myself what a fukking idiot I was.

Why would try to drive across that to begin with?

Did you consider it a good day for some landscaping around the deck?

[Dinsdale]

I just use this feature called the "defroster."

Worked pretty well on the OL's car yesterday -- started to clear after about 30 minutes or so, after scooping all the snow off the windshield (the parts that weren't ice).

Those folk who venture into the mountains in winter, like skiers for example aren't going wait for 2 feet of snow to melt off their windshield. Being proactive pays off around these parts... like I wasn't. But they weren't forecasting a dumping of this proportion.

[Dinsdale]

Why would try to drive across that to begin with?

Speaking for myself -- I'm out of beer and smokes, and the sidewalk is too slippery to walk on. Just have to get up a steep, ice-covered hill, then the main roads should be doable.

[MgoBlue-LightSpecial]

Those folk who venture into the mountains in winter, like skiers for example aren't going wait for 2 feet of snow to melt off their windshield. Being proactive pays off around these parts... like I wasn't. But they weren't forecasting a dumping of this proportion.

I thought we were talking ice, not snow. Even with a plastered windshield, you're still going to have to brush all that snow off. While you're doing that, just run the defroster, and by the time you've brushed all that snow off, the surface of the windshield should be nice and toasty, requiring just one or two swipes of the wiper blades to clear off any remaining ice/snow.

Sincerely,

Dude who deals with this stuff on a near daily basis for 4-5 months, not just once in a blue moon

[Dinsdale]

Ever occur to you that the atmospheric conditions might be different?

And most vehicles here have sat since Tuesday night, since we have these things called "hills."

Just east of here is the Snowiest Place On Earth. Those who ski in the U&L (sup I'll pass) know a thing or two about operating a vehicle in snow.

Thick ice? Tire chains and 4WD, or you're not going anywhere.

[Dr_Phibes]

But hell, I taught someone from Boston how to cover a windshield with newspaper. And wrap the wipers.

In all my life in the Up&Up, I've never seen anyone do that and I thought I've seen everything. Just put your wipers in the service position.

[War Wagon]

Just put your wipers in the service position.

Not all makes & models have that option, though they should.

[smackaholic]

The yard turns into something resembling chocolate pudding to a depth of about 4 inches with still frozen ground beneath that. Trying to drive across this is a bad idea. I reminded myself of that a few years ago. Got to spend a few hours with 2x12 boards, shovels and liberal amounts of swearing and telling myself what a fukking idiot I was.

Why would try to drive across that to begin with?

Did you consider it a good day for some landscaping around the deck?

It was a beautiful spring day, hadn't rained in a few days, things seemed fine, so I decided to drive the Sonata down to the lower yard (the area of the infamous photo). As I drove down there, I would feel the mushiness and knew I was phuqued. I had forgotten that the previous week it was cold as fukk and even though it was in the 60s, 4 or 5 inches down it was frozen. Typically, you could drive down there in the middle of a rainstorm as my soil drains extremely well. Pretty much pure sand once you get down a foot or so and absolutely no clay. But once it freezes, it may as well be solid clay. Frozen sand drains for shit.

[Dr_Phibes]

Surprised chains are legal down there, they're illegal up here except for the extreme north. You can't go more than a few km. anyway, they'll start tearing your lining apart about the same time they self-destruct.

[Innocent Bystander]

The trucks put chains on to grip the highway within the wind tunnel that is Laguna to Grants. Trucks going over the cliffs suck. Trucks going over during a snow storm sucks worse. But the road is a churned up hot mess after it all melts.

I didn't know you could use newspaper. I thought it was recommended to use cardboard. A low wattage bulb over your windshield is also supposed to help. Allegedly. If the newspaper works, don't knock it, incorporate it.

If you have an older car, defrost by itself will never get the job done. I was in a lake area where the cars had to be hooked up to heaters -- in September. Know your car, know your region.

[Dr_Phibes]

Get a spray bottle with 1/3 water and 2/3 rubbing alcohol. You can leave it in your vehicle and it won't freeze, you'll de-ice and defrost your windshield in seconds, no defrosters

If it's major, just dump the whole bottle on

[Dinsdale]

Surprised chains are legal down there, they're illegal up here except for the extreme north. You can't go more than a few km. anyway, they'll start tearing your lining apart about the same time they self-destruct.

They're required over the mountains when it's snowing.

And 20-25 is hauling ass with chains. But sure beats spending the night buried in the snow and ice.

Not all makes & models have that option, though they should.

I was unclear in my post, but this is what I meant... unless there's freezing rain. Then the wrap doesn't suck.

But I'll have none of these remedies... I'll bitch until it melts, and wait another several years to do it again (fingers crossed). Been 8 years since the last major nature-fucking.

[BSmack]

Yeah I have never put newspaper on my windshield. Even in the Tug Hill Plateau where they can get 5 to 6 feet of snow I don't think people do that. They just put their cars in their garages.

[Dr_Phibes]

We're losing focus, half of us are driving logging trucks up mountains. The other half live in major cities with infrastructure and the other half have a suburban commute.

[War Wagon]

3 halves must then make a whole? Wait... you made me lose focus, Phibes, on what we were discussing. :?

Stop doing that, you know I'm easily confused.

[Left Seater]

They just put their cars in their garages.

This. I don't understand why more people in areas with snow and ice don't have a garage or carport. When I lived in MA it wasn't an expense thing, people just liked to bitch about it. And half of the folks who did have a garage kept it looking like Holic's porch build. The crap was so deep they couldn't walk into them.

[Dr_Phibes]

Supply and demand. 2/3rds of half the people I know can't afford it. Covered parking adds 40,000 fulas to your property value (600 US). Not everyone can afford it. If covered parking is cheap and easy in your neck of the woods, clearly no one wants to live there. You're an adventurer in the burbs, seeking out new things. getting over on the rest.