I'm voting Douche.

It's the 19th Anniversary for T1B - Fuckin' A

Moderator: Jesus H Christ

User avatar
Jay in Phoenix
Eternal Scobode
Posts: 3701
Joined: Tue Sep 06, 2005 10:46 pm

Re: I'm voting Douche.

Post by Jay in Phoenix »

Sung to "Old Man River"

Ol' man Goober,
Dat ol' man Goober
He mus' know sumpin'
But don't say nuthin',
He jes' keeps trollin'
He keeps on trollin' along.
He wax his tainter,
He buff his bottom,
An' what he's written
is soon forgotten,
But ol'man Goober,
He jes keeps postin' along.

Goober he, he sweat an' strain,
Boozin' all day' an' liver in pain,
Tote dat bourban!
Drink dat ale!
Git a lotta drunk
An' his postin' fail.
Ah gits weary
An' sick of readin'
His weak ass postin'
Like somethin' dyin',
But ol' man Goober,
He jes' keeps heavin' along.

Drink all night
Drink all day,
He gon'a puke,
De drunk ass way.
Bends his knees
An' bows his head,
An' pull on 'dat bottle
Until he dead.
Let him make gay like a little sissy,
Let him go 'way from de One Board host;
He diddle dat ween called de little Goober,
Dat shrivled ween dat be so gross.

Ol' man Goober,
Dat ol' man Goober,
He sayin' sumpin'
But don't know nuthin'
He jes' keeps rollin'
He keeps on rollin' along.
He cruise dem beaches,
He take nude pictures,
An' dem dat sees 'em
Him eyes is burnin,
but ol' man Goober,
He jes' keeps showin' his dong.

Tote dat whisky!
Drink dat rye!
Git hammered drunk
'Til de day he die.
He gits weary
Ah' sick of hin cryin'
Ah' tired of him postin'
An' not even tryin',
But ol' man Goober,
He jes' keeps rollin' along!


Image
Innocent Bystander
Mercia Furst
Posts: 4574
Joined: Wed Oct 19, 2016 8:41 pm

Re: I'm voting Douche.

Post by Innocent Bystander »

Lord, have mercy. Jay just won the internet today. That was brutal. :shock:
Goober McTuber
World Renowned Last Word Whore
Posts: 25891
Joined: Mon Jan 17, 2005 1:07 pm

Re: I'm voting Douche.

Post by Goober McTuber »

I am thoroughly flattered that Gay in Phoenix spent that much time replying to me. Hard to believe that some lovely lady pathetic skank hasn't scooped him up by now.
Joe in PB wrote: Yeah I'm the dumbass
schmick, speaking about Larry Nassar's pubescent and prepubescent victims wrote: They couldn't even kick that doctors ass

Seems they rather just lay there, get fucked and play victim
User avatar
Jay in Phoenix
Eternal Scobode
Posts: 3701
Joined: Tue Sep 06, 2005 10:46 pm

Re: I'm voting Douche.

Post by Jay in Phoenix »

:mrgreen:
User avatar
Screw_Michigan
Angry Snowflake
Posts: 21006
Joined: Wed Feb 17, 2010 2:37 am
Location: 20011

Re: I'm voting Douche.

Post by Screw_Michigan »

Goober McTuber wrote:I am thoroughly flattered that Gay in Phoenix spent that much time replying to me. Hard to believe that some lovely lady innocent bystander pathetic skank hasn't scooped him up by now.
FTFY
kcdave wrote: Sat Sep 09, 2023 8:05 am
I was actually going to to join in the best bets activity here at good ole T1B...The guy that runs that contest is a fucking prick
Derron wrote: Sat Oct 03, 2020 3:07 pm
You are truly one of the worst pieces of shit to ever post on this board. Start giving up your paycheck for reparations now and then you can shut the fuck up about your racist blasts.
User avatar
Jay in Phoenix
Eternal Scobode
Posts: 3701
Joined: Tue Sep 06, 2005 10:46 pm

Re: I'm voting Douche.

Post by Jay in Phoenix »

Papa Willie wrote:Jay just kicked you in your ball. Accept it.
You know as well as I do that Goober is in a constant state of denial.

Dishes it out, but can't take it in return.

Cheers Goober!

Image
Goober McTuber
World Renowned Last Word Whore
Posts: 25891
Joined: Mon Jan 17, 2005 1:07 pm

Re: I'm voting Douche.

Post by Goober McTuber »

He gets an "A" for effort, but there's a lot of posters better at song parodies than Jay. Specifically, those that understand meter. And he does get props for not restricting himself to homo blasts this time. But he does seem obsessed with the fact that I enjoy alcohol, even though I almost never drink to excess.

But the best part about Jay is that has far as I can tell, he hasn't reproduced.
Joe in PB wrote: Yeah I'm the dumbass
schmick, speaking about Larry Nassar's pubescent and prepubescent victims wrote: They couldn't even kick that doctors ass

Seems they rather just lay there, get fucked and play victim
User avatar
Jay in Phoenix
Eternal Scobode
Posts: 3701
Joined: Tue Sep 06, 2005 10:46 pm

Re: I'm voting Douche.

Post by Jay in Phoenix »

Well well, tell ya' what Goober, that's prolly the nicest thing you've said in a long time.

I understand meter just fine dude, but sometimes you have to cheat a bit for the line. I had to omit a couple of stanzas just because they didn't fit. As far as homo blasts, you get what you give Goober. You run that kind of smack all the time, so let's not get hypocritical here. I don't care if you drink or you're sober, but you published pictures of all of your booze, so open season bro.

As to reproduction, I'll keep you guessing there. :wink:

Have a nice day my friend.
User avatar
Screw_Michigan
Angry Snowflake
Posts: 21006
Joined: Wed Feb 17, 2010 2:37 am
Location: 20011

Re: I'm voting Douche.

Post by Screw_Michigan »

Jay in Phoenix wrote:I don't care if you drink or you're sober, but you published pictures of all of your booze, so open season bro.
Helps him numb the pain of his underachieving hockey program.
kcdave wrote: Sat Sep 09, 2023 8:05 am
I was actually going to to join in the best bets activity here at good ole T1B...The guy that runs that contest is a fucking prick
Derron wrote: Sat Oct 03, 2020 3:07 pm
You are truly one of the worst pieces of shit to ever post on this board. Start giving up your paycheck for reparations now and then you can shut the fuck up about your racist blasts.
Goober McTuber
World Renowned Last Word Whore
Posts: 25891
Joined: Mon Jan 17, 2005 1:07 pm

Re: I'm voting Douche.

Post by Goober McTuber »

Jay in Phoenix wrote:Well well, tell ya' what Goober, that's prolly the nicest thing you've said in a long time.

I understand meter just fine dude, but sometimes you have to cheat a bit for the line. I had to omit a couple of stanzas just because they didn't fit. As far as homo blasts, you get what you give Goober. You run that kind of smack all the time, so let's not get hypocritical here. I don't care if you drink or you're sober, but you published pictures of all of your booze, so open season bro.

As to reproduction, I'll keep you guessing there. :wink:

Have a nice day my friend.
So all you have to do is take a couple of facts and twist them to fit your little fantasies. Hmmm.

Face it, Jay, your life is filled with fear.

You fear commitment and that's why you're 50-some years old and never married.

Obviously you had some bad experiences with alcohol in your younger days, so now you're a teetotaler, fearful that alcohol would control you rather than the other way around.

You're fearful that strangers on the internet will realize that you don't have anywhere near the intellect that you pretend to have. In that same vein, you fear poptart will come in here and pound you like a tent peg. Again.

You're obsessed with a throwaway photo I posted of myself on a nude beach, even though I never exposed any naughty bits. What is it you really fear there?

You're just a fearful little man, afraid of life.

On a positive note, you make me feel very good about myself and my life.

At least I'm not Jay in Phoenix. Or anything close. :mrgreen:
Joe in PB wrote: Yeah I'm the dumbass
schmick, speaking about Larry Nassar's pubescent and prepubescent victims wrote: They couldn't even kick that doctors ass

Seems they rather just lay there, get fucked and play victim
Goober McTuber
World Renowned Last Word Whore
Posts: 25891
Joined: Mon Jan 17, 2005 1:07 pm

Re: I'm voting Douche.

Post by Goober McTuber »

P.S. I have another not so common bottle of whiskey in my sights. It's time for the fall releases. I'll be sure to keep you posted.
Joe in PB wrote: Yeah I'm the dumbass
schmick, speaking about Larry Nassar's pubescent and prepubescent victims wrote: They couldn't even kick that doctors ass

Seems they rather just lay there, get fucked and play victim
BSmack
2005 and 2010 JFFL Champion
Posts: 29349
Joined: Sat Jan 15, 2005 2:21 pm
Location: Lookin for tards

Re: I'm voting Douche.

Post by BSmack »

Goober McTuber wrote:Image
"Once upon a time, dinosaurs didn't have families. They lived in the woods and ate their children. It was a golden age."

—Earl Sinclair

"I do have respect for authority even though I throw jelly dicks at them.

- Antonio Brown
Innocent Bystander
Mercia Furst
Posts: 4574
Joined: Wed Oct 19, 2016 8:41 pm

Re: I'm voting Douche.

Post by Innocent Bystander »

Wait. GT posted a nude photo of himself on a board full of men? As a throwaway? That really happened?

I miss all of the good stuff. Fill me in: why were you there, and would you go back?
User avatar
Screw_Michigan
Angry Snowflake
Posts: 21006
Joined: Wed Feb 17, 2010 2:37 am
Location: 20011

Re: I'm voting Douche.

Post by Screw_Michigan »

Goober McTuber wrote: So all you have to do is take a couple of facts and twist them to fit your little fantasies. Hmmm.

Face it, Jay, your life is filled with fear.

You fear commitment and that's why you're 50-some years old and never married.

Obviously you had some bad experiences with alcohol in your younger days, so now you're a teetotaler, fearful that alcohol would control you rather than the other way around.

You're fearful that strangers on the internet will realize that you don't have anywhere near the intellect that you pretend to have. In that same vein, you fear poptart will come in here and pound you like a tent peg. Again.

You're obsessed with a throwaway photo I posted of myself on a nude beach, even though I never exposed any naughty bits. What is it you really fear there?

You're just a fearful little man, afraid of life.

On a positive note, you make me feel very good about myself and my life.

At least I'm not Jay in Phoenix. Or anything close. :mrgreen:
Jesus, talk about raging insecurity. Seek help.
kcdave wrote: Sat Sep 09, 2023 8:05 am
I was actually going to to join in the best bets activity here at good ole T1B...The guy that runs that contest is a fucking prick
Derron wrote: Sat Oct 03, 2020 3:07 pm
You are truly one of the worst pieces of shit to ever post on this board. Start giving up your paycheck for reparations now and then you can shut the fuck up about your racist blasts.
User avatar
trev
New Sheriff in Town
Posts: 5032
Joined: Fri Jan 14, 2005 10:23 pm
Location: semi retirement

Re: I'm voting Douche.

Post by trev »

Yes, goob posted a pic of himself wearing nada. He was adequately and tastefully covered. There was nothing wrong with the pic or him posting it. He got props for doing so.

:grin:
User avatar
Mikey
Carbon Neutral since 1955
Posts: 30738
Joined: Sat Jan 15, 2005 6:06 pm
Location: Paradise

Re: I'm voting Douche.

Post by Mikey »

trev wrote:Yes, goob posted a pic of himself wearing nada. He was adequately and tastefully covered. There was nothing wrong with the pic or him posting it. He got props for doing so.

:grin:
Props? :shock:

Well...at least he's not AP.
User avatar
Screw_Michigan
Angry Snowflake
Posts: 21006
Joined: Wed Feb 17, 2010 2:37 am
Location: 20011

Re: I'm voting Douche.

Post by Screw_Michigan »

KC Scott wrote: But in true Red, White and Blue form, nobody bothered to look at that when they could focus on "grab 'em by the pussy" instead
Yes, heaven forbid.
kcdave wrote: Sat Sep 09, 2023 8:05 am
I was actually going to to join in the best bets activity here at good ole T1B...The guy that runs that contest is a fucking prick
Derron wrote: Sat Oct 03, 2020 3:07 pm
You are truly one of the worst pieces of shit to ever post on this board. Start giving up your paycheck for reparations now and then you can shut the fuck up about your racist blasts.
User avatar
Mikey
Carbon Neutral since 1955
Posts: 30738
Joined: Sat Jan 15, 2005 6:06 pm
Location: Paradise

Re: I'm voting Douche.

Post by Mikey »

KC Scott wrote:

What's funny is Trump is actually a hell of a lot closer in many policy stances to Bernie Sanders, than Hillary is.
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Fat and stupid in flyover country is no way to go through life.
Goober McTuber
World Renowned Last Word Whore
Posts: 25891
Joined: Mon Jan 17, 2005 1:07 pm

Re: I'm voting Douche.

Post by Goober McTuber »

Papa Willie wrote:
Goober McTuber wrote:
Jay in Phoenix wrote:Well well, tell ya' what Goober, that's prolly the nicest thing you've said in a long time.

I understand meter just fine dude, but sometimes you have to cheat a bit for the line. I had to omit a couple of stanzas just because they didn't fit. As far as homo blasts, you get what you give Goober. You run that kind of smack all the time, so let's not get hypocritical here. I don't care if you drink or you're sober, but you published pictures of all of your booze, so open season bro.

As to reproduction, I'll keep you guessing there. :wink:

Have a nice day my friend.
So all you have to do is take a couple of facts and twist them to fit your little fantasies. Hmmm.

Face it, Jay, your life is filled with fear.

You fear commitment and that's why you're 50-some years old and never married.

Obviously you had some bad experiences with alcohol in your younger days, so now you're a teetotaler, fearful that alcohol would control you rather than the other way around.

You're fearful that strangers on the internet will realize that you don't have anywhere near the intellect that you pretend to have. In that same vein, you fear poptart will come in here and pound you like a tent peg. Again.

You're obsessed with a throwaway photo I posted of myself on a nude beach, even though I never exposed any naughty bits. What is it you really fear there?

You're just a fearful little man, afraid of life.

On a positive note, you make me feel very good about myself and my life.

At least I'm not Jay in Phoenix. Or anything close. :mrgreen:
Jesus, Goobs. Just a few more paragraphs. Where all of those where you were taking deep breaths?
Just wanted to make it easy for you to follow along.
Joe in PB wrote: Yeah I'm the dumbass
schmick, speaking about Larry Nassar's pubescent and prepubescent victims wrote: They couldn't even kick that doctors ass

Seems they rather just lay there, get fucked and play victim
User avatar
Jay in Phoenix
Eternal Scobode
Posts: 3701
Joined: Tue Sep 06, 2005 10:46 pm

Re: I'm voting Douche.

Post by Jay in Phoenix »

Goober McTuber wrote:Image
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Melt much Goober? Project your own insecurities much?

Epic fail dude.
Goober McTuber
World Renowned Last Word Whore
Posts: 25891
Joined: Mon Jan 17, 2005 1:07 pm

Re: I'm voting Douche.

Post by Goober McTuber »

Jay in Kansas City wrote: IKYABWAI
Shocking. :meds:
Joe in PB wrote: Yeah I'm the dumbass
schmick, speaking about Larry Nassar's pubescent and prepubescent victims wrote: They couldn't even kick that doctors ass

Seems they rather just lay there, get fucked and play victim
User avatar
trev
New Sheriff in Town
Posts: 5032
Joined: Fri Jan 14, 2005 10:23 pm
Location: semi retirement

Re: I'm voting Douche.

Post by trev »

Jsc810 wrote:
I certainly get that Clinton is flawed.
Why would you wear her button so proudly?

I didn't or would not have nominated Trump. But since he isn't establishment, he will get my vote.

Hillary is a disgusting career politician that has nothing to show for herself but decades of living off the public dole.
User avatar
Shlomart Ben Yisrael
Insha'Allah
Posts: 19031
Joined: Wed Jan 19, 2005 5:58 pm
Location: filling molotovs

Re: I'm voting Douche.

Post by Shlomart Ben Yisrael »

Goober McTuber wrote:
Jay in Kansas City wrote: IKYABWAI
Shocking. :meds:

You're not going to win this one, bro.
You're just not.
It's one of those "That's fucked up/Leave it at that" occurrences that defy explanation. Save your strength for shutyomouth and live to fight another day.


Image
rock rock to the planet rock ... don't stop
Felix wrote:you've become very bitter since you became jewish......
Kierland drop-kicking Wolftard wrote: Aren’t you part of the silent generation?
Why don’t you just STFU.
User avatar
Jay in Phoenix
Eternal Scobode
Posts: 3701
Joined: Tue Sep 06, 2005 10:46 pm

Re: I'm voting Douche.

Post by Jay in Phoenix »

Goober McTuber wrote:Image
User avatar
Shlomart Ben Yisrael
Insha'Allah
Posts: 19031
Joined: Wed Jan 19, 2005 5:58 pm
Location: filling molotovs

Re: I'm voting Douche.

Post by Shlomart Ben Yisrael »

trev wrote:
Why would you wear her button so proudly?
Because the thrill of playing the contrarian on T1B (and .net) is the only thing Chip has to occupy his banal existence.
It's the only thing between some meagre pleasure in life...and kicking the stool out from under his feet in the garage.
rock rock to the planet rock ... don't stop
Felix wrote:you've become very bitter since you became jewish......
Kierland drop-kicking Wolftard wrote: Aren’t you part of the silent generation?
Why don’t you just STFU.
User avatar
Shlomart Ben Yisrael
Insha'Allah
Posts: 19031
Joined: Wed Jan 19, 2005 5:58 pm
Location: filling molotovs

Re: I'm voting Douche.

Post by Shlomart Ben Yisrael »

Jay in Phoenix wrote:
Goober McTuber wrote:Image

See?

Trust me, Goobs. He can do this all day.
Just walk away.

Just walk away.
rock rock to the planet rock ... don't stop
Felix wrote:you've become very bitter since you became jewish......
Kierland drop-kicking Wolftard wrote: Aren’t you part of the silent generation?
Why don’t you just STFU.
User avatar
Shlomart Ben Yisrael
Insha'Allah
Posts: 19031
Joined: Wed Jan 19, 2005 5:58 pm
Location: filling molotovs

Re: I'm voting Douche.

Post by Shlomart Ben Yisrael »

I won't think any less of you if you walk this off, Goobs.

Well, 'Spray might.

...and maybe Screwey.



...well, maybe Mgo too...
rock rock to the planet rock ... don't stop
Felix wrote:you've become very bitter since you became jewish......
Kierland drop-kicking Wolftard wrote: Aren’t you part of the silent generation?
Why don’t you just STFU.
User avatar
Shlomart Ben Yisrael
Insha'Allah
Posts: 19031
Joined: Wed Jan 19, 2005 5:58 pm
Location: filling molotovs

Re: I'm voting Douche.

Post by Shlomart Ben Yisrael »

...and maybe smackaholic too...but FUCK that guy, am I right?
:x
rock rock to the planet rock ... don't stop
Felix wrote:you've become very bitter since you became jewish......
Kierland drop-kicking Wolftard wrote: Aren’t you part of the silent generation?
Why don’t you just STFU.
User avatar
Shlomart Ben Yisrael
Insha'Allah
Posts: 19031
Joined: Wed Jan 19, 2005 5:58 pm
Location: filling molotovs

Re: I'm voting Douche.

Post by Shlomart Ben Yisrael »

Okay...Mikey too. Probably Mikey...yeah...
rock rock to the planet rock ... don't stop
Felix wrote:you've become very bitter since you became jewish......
Kierland drop-kicking Wolftard wrote: Aren’t you part of the silent generation?
Why don’t you just STFU.
User avatar
Mikey
Carbon Neutral since 1955
Posts: 30738
Joined: Sat Jan 15, 2005 6:06 pm
Location: Paradise

Re: I'm voting Douche.

Post by Mikey »

Blacks for Trump.

Trump's doing really well with The Blacks.

Image
User avatar
War Wagon
2010 CFB Pickem Champ
Posts: 21127
Joined: Fri Jan 14, 2005 2:38 pm
Location: Tiger country

Re: I'm voting Douche.

Post by War Wagon »

KC Scott wrote:
Jsc810 wrote:The Republicans have failed to nominate a legitimate candidate for the office, and now they are beginning to panic..
Wrong

The "republicans" wanted Jeb Bush
This one did, from day one. Hell, I would've settled for Marco or whomever

I can't and won't vote for the landfill inferno that is Trump. I've said that many times, from day one.

Neither would I vote for Hillary, not even if Jsc promised to picket an abortion clinic and KC $cott promised to quit advertising his fabulous lifestyle of the rich and famous. Fuck that noise, I still wouldn't vote for that bitch.

No matter, my life won't change in any significant manner by the outcome of this election.

We're all going straight to hell eventually, just ask 'tart.
User avatar
trev
New Sheriff in Town
Posts: 5032
Joined: Fri Jan 14, 2005 10:23 pm
Location: semi retirement

Re: I'm voting Douche.

Post by trev »

You wanted another Bush? Asinine.

We need some new blood.

I wanted that fat guy. (Not in that way, losers)
Innocent Bystander
Mercia Furst
Posts: 4574
Joined: Wed Oct 19, 2016 8:41 pm

Re: I'm voting Douche.

Post by Innocent Bystander »

trev wrote:Yes, goob posted a pic of himself wearing nada. He was adequately and tastefully covered. There was nothing wrong with the pic or him posting it. He got props for doing so.

:grin:
Hold up. Pause ... girl, where's the picture at? Is Goobs really as old as Wolf and Luther, or has he been holding out this whole time?
User avatar
trev
New Sheriff in Town
Posts: 5032
Joined: Fri Jan 14, 2005 10:23 pm
Location: semi retirement

Re: I'm voting Douche.

Post by trev »

Innocent Bystander wrote: where's the picture at?
Etched in my mind. Yes, he's an older gentleman.

Someone help this girl out and post the pic. I'm sure Scott has a copy stashed in his purse.
User avatar
Screw_Michigan
Angry Snowflake
Posts: 21006
Joined: Wed Feb 17, 2010 2:37 am
Location: 20011

Re: I'm voting Douche.

Post by Screw_Michigan »

trev wrote: I wanted that fat guy. (Not in that way, losers)
Someone even more incompetent and detestable than Trump. Nice going.
kcdave wrote: Sat Sep 09, 2023 8:05 am
I was actually going to to join in the best bets activity here at good ole T1B...The guy that runs that contest is a fucking prick
Derron wrote: Sat Oct 03, 2020 3:07 pm
You are truly one of the worst pieces of shit to ever post on this board. Start giving up your paycheck for reparations now and then you can shut the fuck up about your racist blasts.
User avatar
War Wagon
2010 CFB Pickem Champ
Posts: 21127
Joined: Fri Jan 14, 2005 2:38 pm
Location: Tiger country

Re: I'm voting Douche.

Post by War Wagon »

trev wrote: Someone help this girl out and post the pic.
Oh great, now Goobs will think nasty skanks want to be molested... by him! The guy already has an ego problem.

There's this this thing called PM, take it there.

I don't want to see ball wax monkey drop trou anymore than I want Hillary elected.
User avatar
Mikey
Carbon Neutral since 1955
Posts: 30738
Joined: Sat Jan 15, 2005 6:06 pm
Location: Paradise

Re: I'm voting Douche.

Post by Mikey »

trev wrote: Yes, he's an older gentleman.
Older than...what?
:lol: :lol: :lol:
Innocent Bystander
Mercia Furst
Posts: 4574
Joined: Wed Oct 19, 2016 8:41 pm

Re: I'm voting Douche.

Post by Innocent Bystander »

KCScott and Trev get it.



As for Herself the Cold and Joyless, she inspires a whole lot of meh among blacks...at best. The voter fraud is going to be off the charts this year.
User avatar
Mikey
Carbon Neutral since 1955
Posts: 30738
Joined: Sat Jan 15, 2005 6:06 pm
Location: Paradise

Re: I'm voting Douche.

Post by Mikey »

Innocent Bystander wrote: The voter fraud is going to be off the charts this year.
And you know this because...The Donald told you?

Lololol

Dismissed
User avatar
The Big Pickle
Nubian Pole Sitter
Posts: 3173
Joined: Thu Jan 24, 2008 2:57 am

Re: I'm voting Douche.

Post by The Big Pickle »

trev wrote:
Innocent Bystander wrote: where's the picture at?
Etched in my mind. Yes, he's an older gentleman.

Someone help this girl out and post the pic. I'm sure Scott has a copy stashed in his purse.
Image

Goober McGrandpa
Post Reply