Surgery contest

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trev
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Surgery contest

Post by trev »

I'm curious now. Name all the surgeries you've had since birth.

Age 5-eye surgery

Age 23- C-section

Anyone never had a surgery? I'm talking major surgery here.

I think the winner will be Jsc with Rog a close second.
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Re: Surgery contest

Post by Carson »

8 - Eyes

32 - Back

38 - Sinuses
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poptart
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Re: Surgery contest

Post by poptart »

Age 28: Hernia

The end.
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Re: Surgery contest

Post by smackaholic »

I have stumbled through 52 laps around the sun without being cut into once, other than a lanced boil. Thanks for the jinx though. I am sure I will have open heart surgery next week.
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Re: Surgery contest

Post by BSmack »

I've had docs put me under 4 times to drain fluid from my ears, 5 biopsies (3 for the same tumor 2 that were clean later on) and 2 cataract removals. Oh, and one particularly violent wisdom teeth extraction. So that makes 12.

Edit: I forgot my gall bladder removal. That is 13.
Last edited by BSmack on Sat Apr 18, 2015 3:33 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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mvscal
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Re: Surgery contest

Post by mvscal »

What? This week?

--jsc
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Re: Surgery contest

Post by Wolfman »

Had a vasectomy in 1975 (snip-snip) and thought that would be it in my lifetime. Wrong. Ended up with open heart surgery last September. Bypass the main coronary artery which was 80% blocked and replaced my shot aortic valve with one from a pig (oink-oink). Still can't look at the scar on my chest. I was glued together-no staples or stitches outside. Will decline anything like that should it become an option again. BTW--I will be 76 next month.
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R-Jack
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Re: Surgery contest

Post by R-Jack »

Oh, never mind. You meant cut open....not split open.

m2
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Felix
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Re: Surgery contest

Post by Felix »

tonsils when I was 18-talk about a bitch surgery...for kids it's easy, if your over 16 not so much....went to lunch with a couple of buddies while the cuts were stiill healing....decided I'd have something that wouldn't be to tough on my throat so I ordered a chef salad....should have had them hold the cayenne pepper...

3 sinus surgeries for a deviated septum...I guess three surgeries for that is fairly common....

two shoulder surgeries, tore both labrums when I took a spill and put my arms in front to stop my fall.....

blown meniscus-shredded it playing golf, although I'd been working on a house for about two weeks prior with out any knee pads, so I'm sure that didn't help....

i had to have a catheter snaked up the vein in one of my arms to clear a blockage in the south right ventricle of my heart (yes, it was a heart attack) and they inserted two stints.....that was last may......

so what do I win?
get out, get out while there's still time
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Re: Surgery contest

Post by Left Seater »

7 - Hernia (both sides)

10 - deviated septum

12 - Tonsils

17 - Broken arm required pins and a few screws

20 - Knee


The worst one of all was the damn deviated septum. Some time after the surgery the doc went all magician and slowly pulled this super long cotton gauze out of my nose. Dude thought he was funny with the damn magician shit. Instead it just hurt like hell.
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Felix
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Re: Surgery contest

Post by Felix »

Left Seater wrote:
The worst one of all was the damn deviated septum. Some time after the surgery the doc went all magician and slowly pulled this super long cotton gauze out of my nose. Dude thought he was funny with the damn magician shit. Instead it just hurt like hell.
my ent jammed this long plastic tube with holes in it to allow me to "breathe" through my nose while the septum surgery was healing.....I could breathe through my nose for about a half hour before the blood clogged it up so I was breathing through my mouth and that drove me crazy to the point where I called the doc and had him pull it out a day early.....when he pulled it out it looked like it was about the length of my ring finger (four inches)....I couldn't believe he got something that big up my nasal passages.....
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Re: Surgery contest

Post by Goober McTuber »

7 - tonsils

9 - appendix

17 - knee

56 - rotator cuff

58 - knee replacement
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schmick, speaking about Larry Nassar's pubescent and prepubescent victims wrote: They couldn't even kick that doctors ass

Seems they rather just lay there, get fucked and play victim
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Re: Surgery contest

Post by The State »

Papa Willie wrote:
mvscal wrote:What? This week?

--jsc
I'm not sure that there's enough available space on this board to handle Jsc's list. :)


Me - tonsils @ 6.


You left out... "that government subsidized lipo".. that got your weight down to 5 bills... as well as that black cock you got out of your throat.



Did Bacon, Ga... get below 50% poverty level ?

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Re: Surgery contest

Post by Y2K »

I just wanna know who paid for Mtool's lobotomy.
I knew somewhere there was a legit reason for Obamacare.
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Re: Surgery contest

Post by The State »

Y2K wrote:I just wanna know who paid for Mtool's lobotomy.
I knew somewhere there was a legit reason for Obamacare.


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Rich people... enjoy the ride.




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Mikey
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Re: Surgery contest

Post by Mikey »

Tonsils - <10
Surgically repaired calf, including major skin grafts, result of car accident - 23
Left hip replacement - 56
Right hip replacement - 56
Brain Salad Surgery - 18

As a result of #2, very few people who are still walking can beat me in a "scar off."
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Re: Surgery contest

Post by Goober McTuber »

Rub some dirt on it, you fucking pussy.
Joe in PB wrote: Yeah I'm the dumbass
schmick, speaking about Larry Nassar's pubescent and prepubescent victims wrote: They couldn't even kick that doctors ass

Seems they rather just lay there, get fucked and play victim
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Re: Surgery contest

Post by atmdad »

16 - Testicular Torsion
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Derron
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Re: Surgery contest

Post by Derron »

5- tonsils
9- retinal retraction
26 - Artho on the knee
29- Retinal retraction again
30 - Vascetomy
33 - Hernia
44 - Knee replacement
54- Colon resection
54 - Thorasic drains installed
54- Thorasic drains removed

Probably looking at 2 more abdominal surgeries in the next 5 years, hernia repair and some more colon removal.

Still in pretty good shape for 57.
Derron
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Re: Surgery contest

Post by Goober McTuber »

For someone who's allowed their lower sigmoid to be abused the way you have, yes, you're in great shape.
Joe in PB wrote: Yeah I'm the dumbass
schmick, speaking about Larry Nassar's pubescent and prepubescent victims wrote: They couldn't even kick that doctors ass

Seems they rather just lay there, get fucked and play victim
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Mikey
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Re: Surgery contest

Post by Mikey »

Derron wrote:5- tonsils
9- retinal retraction
26 - Artho on the knee
29- Retinal retraction again
30 - Vascetomy
33 - Hernia
44 - Knee replacement
54- Colon resection
54 - Thorasic drains installed
54- Thorasic drains removed

Probably looking at 2 more abdominal surgeries in the next 5 years, hernia repair and some more colon removal.

Still in pretty good shape for 57.

I'm hitting 60 in two weeks. Having my shoulder looked at tomorrow.

When I was in my 20s and wearing a hard hat I thought it was cool to see how many bundles of 1/2" conduit I could carry from the trailer to wherever we were working. Not so sure about that now.
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Re: Surgery contest

Post by Derron »

Mikey wrote:

I'm hitting 60 in two weeks. Having my shoulder looked at tomorrow.

When I was in my 20s and wearing a hard hat I thought it was cool to see how many bundles of 1/2" conduit I could carry from the trailer to wherever we were working. Not so sure about that now.
That tally does not include the multiples of cortisone injections into knees and shoulders. Impact shocks and impingment shock from too long in the trades. Always prided myself on being able to pick up the tool belt anytime and make a living. Had second thoughts in my late 30's about that, reconfirmed those thoughts in my mid forties and wished I had paid the fuck attention to those thoughts better in my fifties.
Derron
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Re: Surgery contest

Post by Derron »

Goober McTuber wrote:For someone who's allowed their lower sigmoid to be abused the way you have, yes, you're in great shape.
Still alive, and I can still fuck, fish and golf.

How about you ??
Derron
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Re: Surgery contest

Post by Derron »

Mikey wrote:

I'm hitting 60 in two weeks. Having my shoulder looked at tomorrow.
I did leave off my rotator cuff work at 44. Absolutely the most fucking painful surgery and rehab I have ever had. :shock: :shock:

I did learn how to play my fairway woods better after that cutting though.
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Diego in Seattle
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Re: Surgery contest

Post by Diego in Seattle »

It's starting to sound like the next trollstop should be at the Mayo Clinic. :?
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Re: Surgery contest

Post by Mikey »

Diego in Seattle wrote:It's starting to sound like the next trollstop should be at the Mayo Clinic. :?

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Re: Surgery contest

Post by Goober McTuber »

Derron wrote:
Goober McTuber wrote:For someone who's allowed their lower sigmoid to be abused the way you have, yes, you're in great shape.
Still alive, and I can still fuck, fish and golf.

How about you ??
All of that, and my tailpipe is still intact.
Joe in PB wrote: Yeah I'm the dumbass
schmick, speaking about Larry Nassar's pubescent and prepubescent victims wrote: They couldn't even kick that doctors ass

Seems they rather just lay there, get fucked and play victim
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Roger_the_Shrubber
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Re: Surgery contest

Post by Roger_the_Shrubber »

Ummm.......

I had an ingrown toe nail once. That's about it.
What were we just talking about?
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Re: Surgery contest

Post by Goober McTuber »

You know, Roger, a lobotomy does count as a surgery.
Joe in PB wrote: Yeah I'm the dumbass
schmick, speaking about Larry Nassar's pubescent and prepubescent victims wrote: They couldn't even kick that doctors ass

Seems they rather just lay there, get fucked and play victim
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Re: Surgery contest

Post by missjo »

Hernia - 2
appendix - 13
Carpal Tunnel - 43
You just can't fix stupid...trust me I've tried
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mamamustanger
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Re: Surgery contest

Post by mamamustanger »

Carpal tunnel-40
Bone spur from foot-42
Endometrial ablation -44
Eye surgery-48
Epidural neuroplasty- 40
Angiogram with placement of cardiac loop electrode-48
Gall bladder- 50


Sure glad I made it out of my forties!
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smackaholic
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Re: Surgery contest

Post by smackaholic »

Consider yourself lucky. What you call your 40s, jsc calls, a good week.

If Obama really wants to put a dent in what the nation spends on health care, he'd just re-direct the next drone strike to chip's house.
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Re: Surgery contest

Post by smackaholic »

Jsc810 wrote:I am not ignoring this thread, but my reply is taking awhile to finish. It is my hope that y'all do not make the same mistakes that I have made.
Just post a link to the tera bit server you have everything filed on.
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Roger_the_Shrubber
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Re: Surgery contest

Post by Roger_the_Shrubber »

Never, ever, ever, never, EVER, NEVER!!! let an Orthopedist operate on your spine. Neurologist only.

Just my VERY educated opinion. Oh, and I had all that done already Chip. Fun, huh?
What were we just talking about?
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Re: Surgery contest

Post by Dinsdale »

I'm almost 48, and my surgery total stands at... zero.

I've had more stitches for wounds than I can count, have had all kinds of back problems, severely dislocated SI (hip... I recommend against), a severe liver disease, collapsed one side of my ribcage (still won that bar fight though), and have broken every toe except the big ones multiple times...

But never any surgery.

Chip -- digital X-rays are cool, eh? I've done quite a bit of work setting the systems up in dental offices.
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Re: Surgery contest

Post by Moving Sale »

Circumcision 4days old
Syst in neck removed 10 yrs old
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Re: Surgery contest

Post by Dinsdale »

OK, if we count foreskin removal, I'm in.

Sup, Trev.
I got 99 problems but the 'vid ain't one
Moving Sale

Re: Surgery contest

Post by Moving Sale »

Using scalpel = surgery
At least in my personal book of medical terms.
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trev
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Re: Surgery contest

Post by trev »

Holy Cannoli, Jsc.
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Re: Surgery contest

Post by smackaholic »

I can see it now....JSC being rolled down the hallway, frantic docs all yelling at each other.

Doc 1- Fukkkk. Fuk, fuk fuk. Chip, hold in there buddy.

Doc 2- Get the OR ready, RIGHT FUKKING NOW!!!!!!

Doc 1- Fred, don't you fukking lose him. I still have 2 kids to put through college

Doc 2 - Don't worry bro. He isn't going anywhere till my beach house is paid for!
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