HEAT WAVE!!!

Uncle Fester · Post by **Uncle Fester** » Thu Dec 18, 2008 4:40 am

It's about -1 below here in Minneapolis right now. We started with rain, then it froze, then it snowed, and now we've had below zero temps most of the week.

Some of the guys at the bus stop wear navy pea coats with dress shoes, the rage these days, but fuck that noise. I've got a parka with a hood, down-filled mittens the size of boxing gloves, and boots and I STILL freeze my ass off. Too many years as a ski instructor have wrecked my feet for cold weather.

What's fun is sitting on the bus, the windows frosted over completely, as the Somali bus driver steers onto the right shoulder on the freeway past the stalled traffic and guns it. The people in cars resent being passed by the bus so they drift over into our lane as the bus driver lays on the horn and mashes down harder on the accelerator, passing cars by inches at 60 mph. I sit there in the back, clutching my backpack like a makeshift airbag, having flashbacks of Chris Walken from the movie Annie Hall:

"I can anticipate the explosion. The sound of shattering glass. The... flames rising out of the flowing gasoline."

At least flames from gasoline would warm up the farkin bus for a few minutes.

As for Oregon, I dated a girl from Eugene a long time ago and she had MUSHROOMS growing inside her car from the constant humidity. Being in that town was like living in a terrarium filled with good used book stores and coffee shops. I think I'd rather have some honest to goodness snow and ice in the winter rather than 4 months of rain and gloom.

longtimelistener2 · Post by **longtimelistener2** » Thu Dec 18, 2008 5:55 am

RACK!

Justa Pickle · Post by **Justa Pickle** » Thu Dec 18, 2008 6:06 am

Uncle Fester wrote:It's about -1 below here in Minneapolis right now. We started with rain, then it froze, then it snowed, and now we've had below zero temps most of the week.

I'm hoping an ice glacier starts forming over your house tonight and doesn't melt until 2934 AD

Jerkovich · Post by **Jerkovich** » Thu Dec 18, 2008 9:05 am

R-Jack wrote:
Uncle Fester wrote:As for Oregon, I dated a girl from Eugene a long time ago and she had MUSHROOMS growing inside her car from the constant humidity.
Are you sure it was the humidity or the fact that she was a filthy fucking skank from Eugene?

You actually stuck your dick in that bitch? I'd hate to see what was growing out of her putrid snatch if she couldn't even keep fungus from growing in her sled.

Now we know the real origins of the term "Fester" in your nic.

You think Eugine has some fungus? Try the slugs that dominate Grants Pass. Most of them are transplants from SoCal and are disgustingly obese.

I'm sure Dins makes his monthly round to the neck of the woods.

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Thu Dec 18, 2008 2:48 pm

Toddowen wrote:Soon.....I'll have a really sweet gun in my possesion.

Do the right thing, you drunken pedophile. Do it for the kiddies.

Justa Pickle · Post by **Justa Pickle** » Thu Dec 18, 2008 3:07 pm

Toddowen wrote:Its nice having a roaring orange flame in the basement while sucking a couple of cans of MGD....

But I sijmply must admit....This is the most depressing time of the year and I wish it were over.

:|

Soon.....I'll have a really sweet gun in my possesion. And you people will see, then. I'll be flashing that thing around like the fucking Oklahoma Kid on a bad day.

I'm not taking any more shit from any of you ever the fuck anymore.

Toddowen is one of my favorite posters. With all the political correctness and multicultural madness in this country I expect many a White male like ourselves to be a fucking Oklahoma Kid on a bad day. If you ever do go over the edge, I sincerely hope you point all your frustrations on the people that created this madness.

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Thu Dec 18, 2008 6:23 pm

Started snowing hard again... just in time for me to make a 100 mile round trip this afternoon.

Hopefully, ODOT ate their Wheaties this morning.

YD · Post by YD » Thu Dec 18, 2008 10:40 pm

LMAO at the socals in here.

Yeah, you can get hypothermia at 40 degrees. If you are a blithering imbecile.

I forgot that this place can be funneh.

YD · Post by YD » Thu Dec 18, 2008 10:41 pm

Dinsdale wrote: Hopefully, ODOT ate their Wheaties this morning.

wing and a prayer there, guy.

happy hunting.

YD · Post by YD » Thu Dec 18, 2008 11:06 pm

mvscal wrote:blah blah blah blah

no clue?

I say it was Dinsdale, in the Cul de Smak, with a decent raincoat and boots.

good to see some things never change.

Diego in Seattle · Post by **Diego in Seattle** » Fri Dec 19, 2008 1:02 am

Nearly didn't make it home, as I had to make it up a hill (6-7% grade) & had nearly no traction. May have to call in tomorrow.

Uncle Fester · Post by **Uncle Fester** » Fri Dec 19, 2008 4:39 am

I recall R-Jack once posted a pic of his wife on one of these forums and she was a dead ringer for this guy:

.m2 · Post by **.m2** » Fri Dec 19, 2008 5:20 am

Papa Willie wrote:Almost 80 here today - but "muggy 80". Sucks -

I'd rather have 55-60 like it's supposed to be.

You know you want it!

It's not too late....

"Porky the Pig"

meets

"Baghdad by the Bay"

the truth

.m2 · Post by **.m2** » Fri Dec 19, 2008 5:48 am

Uncle Fester wrote:I recall R-Jack once posted a pic of his wife on one of these forums and she was a dead ringer for this guy:

Fester goes "truth"...

... that's why I respect fester.

He's the Midwestern version.

I can still use you as a regional manager... in the "Uff da" for team Cymbala.

the truth

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Fri Dec 19, 2008 6:19 pm

mvscal -- have you happened to notice all of the people here who deal with 40 and raining on a VERY regular basis (and work outside in it sometimes-daily) are universally laughing at you?

Think there might be a reason?

No, it's not for the reason you were about to type... the "dumbfuck" here in question is you. You've gone to great lengths to prove you have no fucking clue.

BTW -- saw a couple of guys wading in Mill Creek in Salem yesterday... since it doesn't matter what they were wearing (waders), they are either in hospital or dead, right? You know -- since it doesn't matter what you wear, you're getting wet, right?

The U&L thanks you for the laughs, though.

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Fri Dec 19, 2008 7:20 pm

What was that about 34 and raining (hard)? IN, btw. Not too fucking pleasant.

Nice to see Fester is still on auto-RACK...

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Fri Dec 19, 2008 8:07 pm

God, you're such a PUS, PSU. In the U&L 34 and raining is beach weather.

Here in the U&R it is about 25 and white as hell outside, just like pikkle likes it.

So pussyfan, seeing as you are doing the 34 and rainy thing, let me ask you, would you prefer it be 6 degrees colder and all white and fluffy? I sure the hell would.

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Fri Dec 19, 2008 8:20 pm

25° and 10 inches of fresh snow on the ground. More on the way this weekend. It's already up to my mailbox. Sweet.

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Fri Dec 19, 2008 8:23 pm

would you prefer it be 6 degrees colder and all white and fluffy? I sure the hell would.

Absofuckinglutely. I don't mind snow...rain sucks ass.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Fri Dec 19, 2008 8:34 pm

What's a matter? You don't have a fully stocked goretex wardrobe like U&L dude?

Me either.

There is only one time that I will go with cold rain. That would be when the slightly colder but much more slippery white fluffy stuff causes me to not be able to get where I'm going in a timely fashion. This very well be the case this evening. The current box score reads about 3 inches on the ground and coming down at about an inch an hour. 3 hours to go. Looks like I'll be taking the long but less hilly way home. Just hope some fukking clown doesn't plow into me.

Derron · Post by **Derron** » Sat Dec 20, 2008 12:23 am

Dinsdale wrote:

BTW -- saw a couple of guys wading in Mill Creek in Salem yesterday...

That would put you right in the heart of Salem..adjacent to many government agencies like..

The state prison ??
The VA ??
Contractors Board ??
Oregon Department of Revenue ??
Oregon Parole and Probation ??
Department of Human Services ??
Oregon Health Department ??
The heroin buyers/sellers/users under the Market Street bridge..

Just not a lot of good shit can happen to (normal) people in that general vicinity..

or possibly at the I 5 / Hwy 22 interchange rolling the not so homeless beggars on the freeway ramp there?

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Sat Dec 20, 2008 1:59 am

Derron wrote:
Dinsdale wrote:

BTW -- saw a couple of guys wading in Mill Creek in Salem yesterday...
That would put you right in the heart of Salem..adjacent to many government agencies like..

The state prison ??
The VA ??
Contractors Board ??
Oregon Department of Revenue ??
Oregon Parole and Probation ??
Department of Human Services ??
Oregon Health Department ??
The heroin buyers/sellers/users under the Market Street bridge..

Just not a lot of good shit can happen to (normal) people in that general vicinity..

or possibly at the I 5 / Hwy 22 interchange rolling the not so homeless beggars on the freeway ramp there?

we're talking dins here.

I'll take under the market street bridge with visiting buddies in the state pen as a backup.

Terry in Crapchester · Sat Dec 20, 2008 12:54 pm

smackaholic wrote:There is only one time that I will go with cold rain. That would be when the slightly colder but much more slippery white fluffy stuff causes me to not be able to get where I'm going in a timely fashion. This very well be the case this evening. The current box score reads about 3 inches on the ground and coming down at about an inch an hour. 3 hours to go. Looks like I'll be taking the long but less hilly way home. Just hope some fukking clown doesn't plow into me.

Rain (at least that of the non-freezing variety) is much, much easier to drive in than snow.

Yesterday was a nightmare for me. I had to drive from home to Geneseo in the morning, then to Rochester to meet with a client, and from there to Buffalo for a court appearance in the afternoon. All the while snow was coming down at about 1" per hour, then changed to freezing rain. One leg of the trip, Geneseo to Rochester, took me about 1 1/2 hours. It should take about 45 minutes.

Fortunately, court in Buffalo got cancelled, so that made my driving somewhat easier. I still managed to get stuck in the road on one occasion, because they couldn't keep the roads anything close to clear under the circumstances. I also had to stop, not once but twice, pull over and pull the ice off my wiper blades so I could actually see where I was going.

Driving in that weather is teh suck. No doubt about it.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Sat Dec 20, 2008 2:08 pm

Last night we had a few guys call in, so we were short for the night shift. I decided to stay till 8. It was a good move. There was plenty of snow on the road, but, few tards in my way. My usual 20 minute ride probably took about 30-35. It wasn't bad at all.

Going to the pats-cards game tomorrow. It may snow, or as dins would prefer, it may do that 34 degrees and rain thing. If it does, I will fly to portland that night, track down dins and fight him. I don't give a fukk what the weather is there

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Sat Dec 20, 2008 2:09 pm

ofcourse, this is dependent on my not succumbing to hypothermia.

Diego in Seattle · Post by **Diego in Seattle** » Sat Dec 20, 2008 3:30 pm

Weather.com:

17°/Feels like 9°

Yeehaw!

Uncle Fester · Post by **Uncle Fester** » Sat Dec 20, 2008 5:13 pm

Cripes, you guys will argue about anything.

The normal human core temperature is 98.6. Drop your core a couple of degrees below that and hypothermia officially begins. Drop ten degrees and you're in big trouble.

mvscal is right on this one. You can become hypothermic anywhere.

Having said that, I've waterskied barefoot on Lake Superior in a shorty wetsuit in water temps around 50 degrees. I couldn't feel my dang legs or arms when I got back into the boat, but what the hail. A towel, an embrace by a bikini-clad hottie, and the cool, refreshing taste of Hamm's beer were all I needed to revive myself.

Derron · Post by **Derron** » Sat Dec 20, 2008 6:19 pm

Uncle Fester wrote:
I've waterskied barefoot on Lake Superior , an embrace by a bikini-clad hottie, and the cool refreshing taste of Hamm's beer

Which is the odd statement out here ??

I call bullshit on the bikini clad hottie...

Uncle Fester · Post by **Uncle Fester** » Sat Dec 20, 2008 6:42 pm

Okay, okay, she was wearing sweat pants and a one-piece, happy?

But that all I need...the towel, the hottie, the Hamms...

That's all I need...the ashtray, the remote control, the paddle game...

Derron · Post by **Derron** » Sat Dec 20, 2008 8:58 pm

Uncle Fester wrote:Okay, okay, she was wearing sweat pants and a one-piece, happy?

But that all I need...the towel, the hottie, the Hamms...

That's all I need...the ashtray, the remote control, the paddle game...

I was going to call bullshit on even the presence of the hottie...the skiing, the cheap beer, I get that, but hotties don't wear one pieces...they wear butt floss.

longtimelistener2 · Post by **longtimelistener2** » Sun Dec 21, 2008 3:23 am

12 inches of brand new powder out here just south of Portland. Thinking about setting up a rope tow to ski the back pasture.

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Sun Dec 21, 2008 9:49 pm

Derron wrote:or possibly at the I 5 / Hwy 22 interchange?

Yup.

longtimelistener2 wrote:12 inches of brand new powder out here just south of Portland.

I thought you were north?

Anyhoo... 24 degrees (it's warmed up), pretty close to a foot of powder, with about 1/4" of ice over the top.

Rode the bus across town this morning... what a treat.

War Wagon · Post by **War Wagon** » Sun Dec 21, 2008 10:51 pm

Currently 7 degrees in the flyover and headed down to -8 over night. Really looking forward to dragging my ass out of a warm bed tomorrow morning at 5:00 am to make it to work by 6, but it beats being laid off as most everybody else at my company now are.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Mon Dec 22, 2008 3:25 am

Went to see the pats put a good ole fashioned ass whuppin' on the cards today. First half, snowed at a pretty good clip, not too cold, perfect snowball packing weather. Had a great time practicing my screen pass to harrison about 8 rows in front of me. Went deep to Moss a few times about 15 rows down, but, per usualm, he was is double coverage (not an isle seat).

Somewhere around half time it switched over to the kinda stuff that dins likes to play in. Fortunately my more or less water resistant north face outer shell, multiple layers of poly fleece and fleece balaclava kept me nice and toasty. I was, however getting a bit damp by the end of the game. Poly fleece is some pretty epcot shit. Just about as good as wool, without the itch and maintenance hassles. The only problem is the stuff gets stinky quick, unlike wool that seems to shed funk rather nicely.

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Mon Dec 22, 2008 7:10 pm

smackaholic wrote:north face outer shell

BLASPHEMY!!!!!!

Sin,
mvsmymotherdidn'tteachmehowtodressmyself

smackaholic wrote:Poly fleece is some pretty epcot shit.

Yup. And it usually water-resistant enough to deal with the typical light rains around here without soaking through. Although my Ol' Reliable Columbia Sportswear fleece jacket is getting about worn out... which dramatically reduces the water resistance.

22 and light snow. About a foot on the ground (my estimate from yesterday was measured where some had blown in, making it inaccurate). Would take much digging to go anywhere (although I've been out on foot).

This is day 9 of snow/ice... unfucking heard of around here. We're just not set up for it, and none of these asshat transplants brought any snowplows with them. The handful we have around here ain't keeping up. Plus, I live on the west side of town, which features a steep hill every few hundred feet. Tough going. They ran trains 24/7, but 3 of the 4 commuter lines froze over so badly they aren't operating.

Cuda · Post by **Cuda** » Mon Dec 22, 2008 7:24 pm

drive by rack for Fester

the rest of you have bored my tits off

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Mon Dec 22, 2008 7:26 pm

Truly odd weather around here of late. Last week, we had the coveted downpour in 34 degrees. Thankfully, that all dried up, because soon after, we switched to the arctic circle routine. If those sheets of runoff had been caught and frozen, as they were in New England, we would have been fucked - lightless again. Now, 55 degrees is forecasted for Saturday...

When I was a kid, winter seemed a constant. Come December, a foot or two would be on the ground, and it would stay there until early March. Now, winter seems like a crapshoot - but sledding conditions have been extremely rare. I feel my kids are getting shafted (EASY, Dan Vogel).

Nice work, guys. A post or two more, and we'll have CTRL-Cuddles run possibly for good.

RumpleForeskin · Post by **RumpleForeskin** » Mon Dec 22, 2008 7:30 pm

Saturday night I was sweating profusely while frying that Turkey.

Sunday morning I am in full winter gear whilst building Mrs. Rumps christmas present.

JFC, it's weather by Cybil.

Jay in Phoenix · Post by **Jay in Phoenix** » Mon Dec 22, 2008 7:32 pm

"And that's it and that's the only thing I need, is this. I don't need this or this. Just this ashtray. And this paddle game, the ashtray and the paddle game and that's all I need. And this remote control. The ashtray, the paddle game, and the remote control, and that's all I need. And these matches. The ashtray, and these matches, and the remote control and the paddle ball. And this lamp. The ashtray, this paddle game and the remote control and the lamp and that's all I need. And that's all I need too. I don't need one other thing, not one - I need this. The paddle game, and the chair, and the remote control, and the matches, for sure. And this. And that's all I need. The ashtray, the remote control, the paddle game, this magazine and the chair."

Double racks for Fester and the Jerk reset!

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Mon Dec 22, 2008 7:51 pm

PSUFAN wrote:When I was a kid, winter seemed a constant.

Still is around here, to an extent. An occasional cold spell certainly isn't out of the ordinary... but 4 days is a really long one. I'm sure within a few days, we'll be back to consistancy -- 45 in the day, upper 30's at night, with a near-constant mist/light rain falling... with a couple bigdaddy doozie rain storms coming straight off the ocean spread through the winter months.

Of course, if we get one of those heavy warm storms coming in right now... it's 1996 all over again... way too much water, way too fast. Then the lowlands are primarily the underwater lands, and we'll be wishing it was only snow and ice keeping us from getting around.

But, what with it being the holiday week, and with the "heavy" (by lowlands standards), we resigned ourselves to shutting the city down for a few days.

This sucks-btw