FUCK YOU KILLIAN. FUCK NOTRE DAME.

[Jimmy Medalions]

Take a seat kids, it’s time for Daddy Medalions to read you a story.

Once upon a time, there was a football program.

It was a football program that enjoyed great relevance, coaching and a tradition of winning.

It was a football program that instilled fear in the hearts of any opponent.

It was a football program that got automatically-circled on every opponent’s schedule.

Well, I guess you could say they still get circled on every opponent’s schedule - by the opponents’ third stringers who looked forward to the extra reps they’d get in practice the week leading up to their walk-thru against this program.

Most of you probably have no idea where I’m going with this, but pull out your Almanac and you’ll be up to speed in short order. You have to go back a very long time, but you’ll get there.

I am, of course, talking about the French Whores of Notre Dame. The single shittiest, overrated, untalented and ineptly-coached football team in all of Division 1. The team that has now lost nine consecutive bowl games. The team whose most recent bowl victory came fourteen years ago, in a squeaker, against aTm.

A once-proud program, the French Whores have solidified their monopoly as the greatest fraud and laughingstock in all of college football. We’re talking antitrust-lawsuit-grade monopoly.

After Granny Holtz left the French Whores 11 years ago, the brain trusts back in that shithole dump in South Bend decided to change their hiring criteria for the head coaching position. Winning was no longer the objective. Rather, the guaranteed destruction of the program was the sole objective. Mission accomplished.

Bob Davies. Fail. Ty Willingham. Fail.

Sensing a bad strategy on their part, the senior brass in that shithole dump in South Bend decided that maybe winning was important after all.

In an attempt to implement their new strategy and radiate brilliance, they hired that fat piece of shit who swung from Tom Brady’s jock in the NFL. The GENIUS who was going to take Bob’s and Ty’s shitty program and shitty players, and turn them into a powerhouse. This was a man whose BRILLIANCE could not be denied.

“Yeah,” they said, “we’ll be fucking geniuses”. Christ had arrived.

So the Human Cheese Log rolls, literally, into that shithole dump in South Bend. After several nice seasons , the brass looked pretty fucking smart. Then, the inevitable happened: the French Whores reverted to sucking ass. Sensing that he was looking pretty bad, the Human Velveeta Brick told the media to “Enjoy it while it lasts, we are going to be very good in the near future”.

Last I checked, “near future” isn’t the definition of “never”.

Of course, CheddarChins made this statement believing in his 99%-blocked heart that Jesus Clausen would silence all the doubters. The young man was new in the system, but would develop rapidly and eventually carry the team on his shoulders to BCS Paradise. And of course, it would be his BRILLIANT coaching of Clausen’s raw talent that made it all happen. Just like he did with Matt Cassel…errrr…..Tom Brady.

So here we are today. The French Whores are making their way to Los Angeles with their shitty little 6-5 record, to attend their own funeral. The players will fly commercial, and the Landwhale will be shipped via FedEx Cargo.

This will be a deep-dicking for the ages. This emotionally-ruined, thick-ankled, second-tier high school squad will be no match for the Trojans. They’ll simply be an annoyance for the Trojans, like having to wipe your windshield after tagging a fly on the highway.

Okay kids, story time is now over. Please cover your ears.

FUCK THE FRENCH WHORES. FUCK EQUATOR-BELT. FUCK KILLIAN.

FIGHT ON TROJANS.

[Goober McTuber]

Outstanding. The only way it could have been better would have been for you to post it five times. Just for old time’s sake.

[Cuda]

you forgot to put "Dear Mrs. Skilla" at the beginning

[PSUFAN]

Nice blast! Rack it.

[Adelpiero]

rack jimmys return

[Killian]

You know, I actually feel bad coming into this thread. I should be on my hands and knees, thanking the Gods of football that this game didn't happen earlier in the year when ND actually had something that looked like an offense. Now, we will all get to see USC drop the hammer on ND. A beating of epoch proportions is on the way and all I have to say is, thanks. It's the season to give thanks, so here I go:

You guys have tried your best to beat the shitty coaching out of us, but like Tina, we don't learn. Poodle laid the hammer on Ty 3 straight year, barely beat Weis in year one, then laid the hammer on him two (about to be three) straight years.



Hit me again, Pete! And this time, put some stank on it!!!

Maybe Bob Davie can pinch hit for Charlie this weekend. I mean, he beat Pom-Pom by 2 TD's with Carlyle Holiday as his QB. Anyway, back to my giving of thanks.

This is a strange place for ND fans and the Trojans are trying to help us through it. Even ND's shitty coaches have had winning records against USC:

Joseph L. "Joe" Kuharich 3-1
Gerry Faust 3-2
Bob Davie 3-2


So Pom-Pom has tried to help us out by pistol whipping Ty and Charlie, and he is now exactly half way to the longest unbeaten streak in this series.

Lou Holtz did it for Ted Tollner, Davie did it for John Robinson and Paul Hackett, so now Poodle is trying to return the favor. And hopefully he does. Maybe ND is lucky enough to have Jon Gruden or Butch Davis's daughter playing basketball or volleyball for the Lady Irish. And then our AD can pass them over for an interview 157 times before they beg to be talked to about the opening and stumble ass backwards into hiring them as head coach.

So thank you. As strange as it feels and sounds, I am looking forward to the end of the game Saturday night, after USC gets done treating ND like their prison bitch, leaving their assholes the same size and color as .m2's after a level 17 wizard with +9.5 cock points decides he's heard enough of his shitty windchimes.

Maybe then ND can experience some real change.

[Laxplayer]

Welcome back Jimmy you cock goggling faggot.
I hate you and your like no other this week. You know, I'd never wear those shitty colors of your gangster riddled, drug smuggling, drunk ass, raping, non class attending asshats, however since I wore a Penn State sweatshirt the week of Iowa (loss) and my ND sweatshirt last week (syracue) I figured WTF, maybe I should just go out and buy one with the hope that the Lax touch carries on to the evil empire. Granted I'll have to burn the shitty article of clothing and sterilize myself after wearing it but who knows maybe the lax jinx will have another affect on you bastards. I hope you go to the game and have to sit by band tard again. I hope he hits on your wife and you get kicked out of that god forsaken shit hole of a stadium for hitting him with your purse.

This week I'm the biggest Oregon State fan just so you fuckers get locked out of the Rose Bowl, then hopefully the BCS will keep your asses out of the MNC game because you didn't win your conference.

Now, take that god damn horse of yours and keep it in the tunnel because if CheeseSteak Charlie gets hungry you never know what he'll do for his next meal.

You can run all the fake smack you want because it's not going to deter ND fans from knowing the truth and that is ND sucks, they blow, they are fucking horrible, they don't deserve to play D-1 football, they better hold their assholes because $C is gong to violate them like no other. It's going to be ugly, uglier than the last chick at a bar at 2:00 A.M. Uglier than your wife, girlfriend, bitch, maid whatever. ND should save on travel costs and just call in sick for this one because if ND fan has to endure another 60 minutes of football.....he/she may just have to kick the dog, the neighbors dog, go to the puppy mill and kick the shit out of them. We hate this time of year because we as fans know what's coming and it's not an ND victory. Good luck, have a shitty time, drink so much that you puke on yourself and the people in front of you.

My heart says
ND 24
$C 20

but since I'm the tin man without a heart, it's going to be
$perm receptacles 56
Fighting Amigh 3 if they're lucky....Oh wait, their kicker sucks. fuck it, they won't score. Shit they couldn't score if they were walking through a whore house with 100 dollar bills taped to their dicks. ND gets shut out again......by a large margin.

[War Wagon]

Shit they couldn't score if they were walking through a whore house with 100 dollar bills taped to their dick.

Verrah nice.

Welcome back Jimmah Meds. How's your health care insurance policy been treating you?

You still having to pay for those dratted smokers?

[RadioFan]

We’re talking antitrust-lawsuit-grade monopoly.

Out. Fucking. Standing.

Throw another RACK on the pile for Meds.

And Rack Killian, as well.


When the game is over, archive this, immediately.

[Jimmy Medalions]

Well. Well. Well.

The faggoty French haven't even entered California airspace, and are already resigning themselves to the proctologic exam the Trojans will administer.

Any self-respecting member of the French Family would never concede a loss before the coin toss. I guess this means that ND Nation has been broken like a wild mustang – all heart and spirit demolished. The same fan base who chanted “Fuck Pete Carroll” back in that shithole dump called South Bend a year ago is now chanting “Go Fuck Ourselves”.

Maybe the French Whores aren’t so dumb after all.

Of course, it can’t be Butter Belly’s fault. Remember, he’s the GENIUS who would lead the French to BCS Paradise and at least a dozen MNC’s – right? The guy who took the raw skills of Tom Brady, a kid overlooked by most coming out of Michigan, and turned him into the HOF candidate he’ll most surely be.

Need proof of his BRILLIANCE? Let’s take a look at the DYNAMIC and SCARY playbook he’s been using this season.



Now, not only are the plays his, but he’ll be calling them for the rest of the season. Remember, if his shitty staff can’t implement his BRILLIANCE, he’ll have to go it alone. Which of course he’ll most surely do because he’s Charlie-Fucking-Weis.

It won’t matter that his pasty-white collection of 40-times-that-look-like-100-times players are entirely incompetent and unqualified for Division 1 football. The prolific play calling of the Boston Blimp will more than compensate for the Route 66 which is the talent gap between the French Whores and the Trojans.

That’s right. You heard it here first. Weis + Pop Warner > Carroll + Canton, Ohio.

So shame on you, French Whores. Shame on you for telling your own program to Go Fuck Themselves days before Jabba the Slut boards his FedEx 747 on a pallet via War Wagon’s Wi-Fi equipped forklift. Shame on you for not giving these poor kids, slow and unconditioned as they are, any chance at putting at least a field goal on the board before the 60 minutes are over.

Besides, the Margarine Man has implemented a new incentive policy for any player who doesn’t get hurt or embarrassed during the game on Saturday:



You can’t in good conscience tell me this won’t elevate his toddlers’ game play to at least JV status. And who knows, maybe the Trojans’ third stringers will blow their coverage on a play during the second quarter, and give up a first down. That’s some good shit for you guys to take into recruiting next year.

FUCK THE FRENCH. FUCK KILLIAN. FUCK LAX. FUCK GRAVY VEINS.

[Killian]

You know being that is the holiday season, I was trying to be nice. The snow is falling in the midwest (it's not Coke, So Cal's. Put the Amex Black Card away and get off of expedia.com) and everyone is in the holiday spirit.

I came into this thread with good intentions and was met with harsh words and harsher truths. Well buckle up Condom fan, I have some truth smack down for you, too.

I'm going to let you in on a little history lesson, but first a quiz. What do the following coaches have in common:

Larry Coker
Ron Zook
Frank Solich
Bob Davie
Ted Tollner
Gerry Faust
Garry Gibbs

They were the coaches who took over for someone successful, only to take a proud program and drive it into the ground. This is what your next coach is going to do. This isn't opinion, it is fact based upon the history of college football. You will once again, be an also ran team. It's only a matter of time. The Wild West Board teems with posters like San Clemente and Schmick, but in a few short years all of those people will be wearing powder blue or Laker gear.

Every successful run by a team is followed directly with a down period that includes everything from losing seasons, to missing bowls, to being embarassed by your arch rivals.

But I'm sure you won't be there to see the ugly under belly of what being a true fan is all about. Nope, you will be long gone before any of that can happen. For as much shit as we gave Ciceberious25 for his band waggon jumping, it pales in comparison to that of SC fan. What ND has on underachieving, overrated football programs, SC fan has on fair weather fans. Below is the X-Ray of a USC fan after he hears the news that Carroll has left for the NFL:



And look, it's the Condom football team immitating their fans:



I can see why. It's hard to root for a team that's nickname is recognized mostly as something you use when banging a skank and taking away what small pleasure you can get from women. Who doesn't fucking hate condoms? I know two people. The first is this pussy:



Talk about prison bitch. This nancy wore this on puropose. When asked where he got it, he said he got it from Brian Cushing. You remember Brian, don't you?

This is Brian:



Brian has bitch tits.

Just in case you thought Ray-Ray or Bitch Tits is joking, here is some more proof:



Seriously? C'mon guys. Don't you think you're taking that whole Roman thing a little too seriously? I'm all for don't ask, don't tell, but you guys are making it way too fucking hard not to ask.

I don't even have to photoshop my shit. Those are real pictures, of a really suspect football team. All of these guys putt from the rough.

Fuck Trojans, I go bareback. Go Irish!

[Laxplayer]

You know meds, I'm getting a little sick and fucking tired of your blasts here. ND is not the French. They'll show up and put forth a valiant effort. Granted they're overmatched but then again so are you in most conversations that take a small amount of intelligence. You and your bandwagoning condom fans can enjoy your time this weekend at your big circle jerk in the ghetto.
Do us a favor though, please don't wear your shorts from when you were a song boy, or faggy ass yell leader during your time at condom U.

Now onto a little history of your fucked up program.
Many years ago there was actually a nice neighborhood in South Central LA. Their mascot was a trojan, however many people were not familiar with that form of birth control yet. Their mascot was a faggoty ass white horse that had some dude riding around wearing a skirt and leather sandals. This lucky person also doubled as a lady of the evening on Hollywood Blvd on the weekends. Well this little school actually played high school teams in their early years. Well not much has changed over those years. Now we call that schedule the Pac-10. There was some early success with their nice little program. In fact they actually won some championships, in fact one that they didn't win actually became theirs because they cried and whined like the little bitches they are. In the 60's they had some memorable teams with some very good talent who have gone on to bigger and better things. Orenthal comes to mind. Now this SOB could slice and dice a defense like the ginsu knives, a product he would find good use for later on as he turned his wife and her boy friend into pez dispensers.

The 70's rolled around and John Mckay continued to coach the Toejam$ to success, however 2 of the national championships they won were shared. In fact there were bowl games where phantom TD's were scored and a level of mediocrity was on the horizon. Meanwhile their neighborhood had become a veritable cesspool of gangs, drugs, thugs, and all around shit. Some of this would infiltrate into their program.
Welcome the 1980's with illustrious names as John Robinson, Ted Tollner, Larry Smith and the unforgettable Paul Hackett. Shit they were so desperate they hired Robinson twice. Shit, they were so bad they lost to Fresno St. Memphis, North Carolina, among other perennial powerhouses in D-1 football. In fact from 1996-2001 their record was a stellar 37-35. So what did they after that? Paul Hackett was their answer and a 19-18 record followed There was a time when the French Whores beat these fuckers 13 years in a row and even their bitter rivals who wear the powder blue beat them 8 in a row. their shit hole of a stadium would barely reach 1/2 capacity during those miserable years. Throw in a few more illustrious alumni such as Toddy Marijuanavich and some fantastic QB's who will be remembered throughout the lores of CFB history. Scott Tinsley, John Mazur, Kyle Wacholtz, Brad Otton, Rob Johnson. In fact Lax would walk around the coliseum with 30-40 extra tickets in his had and couldn't give them away. At least you could find a good seat because the bandwagon hadn't been built yet.
Well Mike Garret made a decision to fire Paul "I can't" hackett and bring in Pete the Poodle who had mediocre success at the NFL level. After going 6-6 in his first year and losing in the LV bowl to Utah the next season and the future looked promising. After throttling Iowa in the Orange bowl the empire began to grow. The asshat fans of $UC who were calling for Petey's head after the first season were now on their knees taking turns on his man yogurt dispenser.
Well Petey has become a pretty good football coach, however he seems to be a better litigator, or at least he knows several good ones. The laundry list of shit that has happened at $UC is longer than Interstate 10 which goes from the beaches of So. Cal across the country to Florida. During this time all the asshat raider fans who had nothing to do spent some of their extra bail money on $C gear and began to visit the coliseum regularly.

It seems that the raider mentality has also slowly entrenched itself into some of the players. rumors of drugs, rapes, weapons, free gifts like cars, houses, bullshit classes like ballroom dancing, agents at practice, more drugs, more rape, fights among players, owning the police have become staples in the condom program. Also roomers that petey is tapping the asses of the song girls like a keg at a frat party. It seems a small price to pay for success on the gridiron but the condom faithful have embraced this like two gay guys would have done if proposition 8 would have failed in so. cal.

this rivalry has withered down to a mere shitty game for the condoms which deflates their already shitty strength of schedule. Nd has fallen on hard times with the inflated one but hopefully times change and this game can actually find its way back to national importance. Maybe Chetey Petey will stay around and the goodyear blimp can actually win a meaningful game but most ND fans don't think so. SC fans will continue to claim that they've been around for 20+ years but most have no idea who or what $C football is all about.

Jimmy, ND's time will come and when the NFL comes calling or the police for that egotistical SOB who ran off Norm Chow your program will once again suffer the fate of mediocrity and hospital emergency rooms will be filled with lower leg injuries suffered by raider/gangster/$UC fan who hurt themselves jumping off your bandwagon. So until that day comes enjoy your success, keep hiding shit under the rug, keep recruiting thugs and gangsters. ND will be back and the condoms will pay the price.

Until then my friend. Cheat on and go Irish.

[GreginPG]

Rack Daddy Medalions and his story!

I'm thinking that tomorrow night, Thanksgiving Eve, before I put my son to bed, I'm going to read him a story like we always do.
I'm going to read him this story. It is sure to become a holiday classic in this household.

I'm not sure that I will allow him to watch the game on Saturday. There's going to be too much violence and mayhem and I don't think the
content will be appropriate for a boy his age.

BEAT THE IRISH!

[Laxplayer]

I'm going to read him this story. It is sure to become a holiday classic in this household.

bullshit, being an $C fan you'll probably pay someone to read it for him. You know what greg? Don't bother calling me Saturday night. I'm calling the phone company and having your number blocked.

[GreginPG]

I'm going to read him this story. It is sure to become a holiday classic in this household.

bullshit, being an $C fan you'll probably pay someone to read it for him. You know what greg? Don't bother calling me Saturday night. I'm calling the phone company and having your number blocked.

Calling you? Saturday night? That's a pretty big assumption on your part. That means I'd have to be sober enough to push a bunch of buttons in the correct order.
It's not like I have you on speed dial or anything.

[Laxplayer]

I figured you'd be bored and have nothing to do. You know, living in Utah and all. I tell you what. Don't fucking call, I wasn't going to answer anyway you condom bitch. In fact, maybe I'll take you off my christmas card list. Ha, that'll show you. right back atcha......Now leave me along I have to go to golf practice.

[GreginPG]

Dude I'm not gonna fucking call you. Why would I want to call a miserable, drunk Irish/bRuin fan?

[Laxplayer]

you'd call me because you're a drunk (whatever the fuck nationality you are) $C fan.

[Jimmy Medalions]

Here we go again. More whining from the French. More reflection on years gone by. More obsession with the man who's had his barbed wire cock implanted in the French fans' collective upper sigmoid for six year running. Check back on Sunday for number seven.

Frenchfan calling Trojanfan an extension of the Raiders is pure, unadulterated comedy gold. In football, as in life, everything is relative. Trojan Nation may hold a chronic degree of regional homerism, but it's immeasurable in comparison to the national scope of the French's fat, beer-farting, hard-boiled-egg-belching, paint-huffing clan of uneducated misfits who make or break Footlocker's annual sales target.

Notre French is the Bear Stearns of Division 1 football. Unrealistic business model, over-compensated management and no accountability to its stakeholders. What should be done? Merge into Footlocker immediately, and waive all rights to royalties previously payable by their new parent company. The new company, Frenchlocker Holdings, fires the entire management team in their Notre French subsidiary, and replaces them with the best and brightest sales associates from some of their retail stores.

Think about it. Akmed and Xialychang know their shit about shoes and stuff with logos on it. Isn't that what Notre French is all about anyways? It's a brilliant business model: sell shit with Notre French Logos on it and make lots of money. Eliminate royalties and pay Notre French mangagement jack shit, and you have the makings for a Nasdaq 100 company with a product that is profitable even in the kind of Great Football Depression the French are now facing.

Goldman Sachs would be all over this shit.

Yep, stick a fork in them. The French are done. An entity destined for de-listing from the Division 1 Exchange and headed to the pink sheets. A takeover candidate sitting on the block waiting for takeover. Sadly for Frenchfan, and thoroughly-enjoyable for the rest of the nation, Notre French is now a fixture of the past and the whipping boy of the future. Just ask Navy and Syracuse.

If Blubberneck was smart, he'd try and save his job by paying back all of the millions of dollars he conned out of Notre French. Every. Last. Dime. If he'd take my call, I'd recommend he start whoring out for various sponsors to market products that are immediately-recognizable to Frenchfans everywhere.

Here's the first one that comes to mind...



FUCK THE FRENCH

[Jimmy Medalions]

More obsession with the man who's had his barbed wire cock implanted in the French fans' collective upper sigmoid for six year running. Check back on Sunday for number seven.

Whatthefuckever. Get back to me when you've pwn3d that fat piece of shit for his entire lifetime.

Regards,

[The Seer]

Dude I'm not gonna fucking call you. Why would I want to call a miserable, drunk Irish/bRuin fan?

I am a Bruinfan. I know Bruinfans. Many Bruinfans are my friends. LAX is NOT a Bruinfan.

[GreginPG]

Dude I'm not gonna fucking call you. Why would I want to call a miserable, drunk Irish/bRuin fan?

I am a Bruinfan. I know Bruinfans. Many Bruinfans are my friends. LAX is NOT a Bruinfan.

Hmmm ok. How's this? He is (allegedly) a Notre Lame fan. UcLabia is his "backup" or "second" team.
Sucks to be him.

[Laxplayer]

Hey motherfucker, I was an oregon state fan for a day this year......

[GreginPG]

Hey motherfucker, I was an oregon state fan for a day this year......

Oh I know that. You were a "fan" of 9 other teams as well.

[Jimmy Medalions]

How's this? He is (allegedly) a Notre Lame fan. UcLabia is his "backup" or "second" team.
Sucks to be him.

LOLerz

[.m2]

Nobody gives a shit about ND.... other than $C.






the truth

[Laxplayer]

Nobody gives a shit about ND.... other than $C.
the truth

Less people give a shit about Cal.
the truth

Less people give a shit about you.
another truth

[King Crimson]

rack meds. he's swinging for the fences.

[Jimmy Medalions]

Hey Triglyceride Tanker, here's another marketing campaign that could land you some extra cabbage.



FUCK THE FRENCH

[buckeye_in_sc]

yeah rack that fucking petey cum dumpster...

where you been ass munch? up in berkeley trying to lure tedford to USC???

[Killian]

I wish I had it in me to keep this going. I really enjoyed the back and forth last year, and Meds is pulling out his A material.

But I can't even put up a front. ND is awful, and Weis is likely going to get fired and replaced by a shitty option. And in 3-5 years, I'll be in here with a similar post.

Meet the new boss, same as the old boss.

Good luck Meds. At least the blood can be used as lube.

[GreginPG]

Hey Triglyceride Tanker, here's another marketing campaign that could land you some extra cabbage.



FUCK THE FRENCH

Oh my lord!!

[Laxplayer]

Jimmy, that's outfuckingstanding.....my fucking butter.....love it.

[Jimmy Medalions]

Been to Italy? Velveeta Ventricles has.



FUCK THE FRENCH

[Jimmy Medalions]

HEY MOTHERFUCKER! DON'T FUCK WITH ME. I HAVE PULL.

[The Seer]

I wish I had it in me to keep this going. I really enjoyed the back and forth last year, and Meds is pulling out his A material.

But I can't even put up a front. ND is awful, and Weis is likely going to get fired and replaced by a shitty option. And in 3-5 years, I'll be in here with a similar post.

Meet the new boss, same as the old boss.

Good luck Meds. At least the blood can be used as lube.

Relax Killian. SuC got lucky. Riley turned them down, so they went on a hunch, a gamble, that Carroll could somehow do college football. They rolled a 7. Prior to the 7, they lived with the Robinson's (chapter 2), Tollner's, Smith's, Hackett's etc.

The Carroll era will end (soon hopefully). They will once again, mouth agape, accept loads. Store all this in your memory....

At the moment it is med's world...and he is enjoying it...rightfully so.

[SoCalTrjn]

Hey Triglyceride Tanker, here's another marketing campaign that could land you some extra cabbage.



FUCK THE FRENCH

water just shout out of my nose

[Laxplayer]

Jimmy, those are absolutely fucking priceless.

[Jimmy Medalions]

IT'S ALL ABOUT STEAK AND LOBSTER MOTHERFUCKER!

[GreginPG]

IT'S ALL ABOUT STEAK AND LOBSTER MOTHERFUCKER!

LMMFAO!